“Goodnight, my sweet Mary.”
“Sweet dreams,” she breathed.
They lay there and she felt herself drifting off after a bit – only to hear his voice in the darkness, faint and hoarse.
“I love you…”
She must have tensed or indicated that she heard him, because he was quick to recover, speaking almost immediately in a rush.
“I’m not asking you to say it or pressuring you,” he began nervously, his voice barely a whisper in the darkness. “I just felt it and wanted to tell you. I hope you don’t think that I’m weird or foolish for blurting it…”
“Jax,” Mary interrupted, laying her hand on his where it rested, curled around her. “I feel it too,” she admitted softly, her heart thumping with awareness and fear of just how big this moment was between them. “I’m just scared - and I need more time to feel comfortable with what this is growing between us.”
“So long as I am not running you off or scaring you away,” he said gently. “I know this is fast and I’m not asking for forever. I just needed to share how I felt right now – and I don’t want to lose you by pushing too hard. I really do think you are incredible, and if it takes ten years for you to feel it towards me… then that’s fine. Just let me be here at your side, savoring my own emotions and spoiling the woman I adore.”
“Really?” she whispered tearfully, realizing he wasn’t going to be upset or pressure her for more.
“Yeah,” he chuckled softly, kissing her cheek. “Just indulge me, let me give you my heart, and treat you like the treasure you are… and I’ll be a happy man.”
Mary turned and reached up to pull his head towards her, kissing him softly, feeling so grateful that he was this breathtaking person that was so right for her.
“I love you,” he whispered again, against her lips. “I truly do. I’ve never felt like this before, and I can’t get you out of my head.”
“I’m not ready for you to leave, you know.”
“I’m not ready either – but I’m coming back. I promise.”
She nodded in the darkness, pressing her forehead to his, before quickly kissing him, and they both laid back down. Jax’s arm tightened around her waist, pulling her against him, as he sighed against her hair.
“Sweet dreams, my love.”
CHAPTER14
GHOST
He lovedMary with every fiber of his being… and was so glad she wasn’t upset when he’d blurted it out uncontrollably in the darkness last night. It had just slipped from him, so easily, as he lay there listening to her breathe, feeling her there against him.
It had been such a beautiful flight there, so wondrous an evening, and he had never felt such joy… that those three little words had come careening out of him like an avalanche … but she hadn’t been alarmed or upset – that was the most amazing part.
Did he want her to say it back?
Sure – but only if she felt the same. It was better to hear her say that she cared, was scared, and wasn’t ready for him to go, because it was the honest truth, straight from her heart.
He slept so good last night having her close to him, feeling such a contentment in his heart. He loved the photos, how her mind worked, how she smiled at him or just seemed to know what he was thinking… all of it. She was a miracle –his miracle– and he was head-over-heels in love with the woman.
Even this morning, when the sun rose, he’d lay there listening to her breathe, feeling so content deep within his soul knowing she was there, close by. Just her existence was a balm he never expected, and couldn’t imagine being without.
… And he was going to miss her terribly.
Slipping quietly out of the tent, he heard her sigh deeply and kissed her shoulder, intent on getting her breakfast out of the plane… only to hear her murmur his name in her sleep.
He almost crawled back to her side in that moment, and couldn’t hold back the smile on his face as he wanted to shout with joy. Yeah, she might be scared to say the words, but it was there no matter how she fought it. He could see it in her eyes, and knew she had scars within her.
Jax meant what he said too – if it took her ten years to feel comfortable admitting it? He truly didn’t care, so long as she let him be at her side, loving her.
Walking towards the plane, he pulled out the cooler to dig out some bottles of iced coffee, two spoons, and a big Tupperware bowl of overnight oats. Cracking open the bowl, he breathed deeply of the scents, smiling almost in nostalgia.
He grew up on the stuff, and it was a quick throw-together breakfast that he’d feasted on several times during trips in high school on the way to competition. He’d run track and played baseball as a scrawny kid - and again at the Academy, even winning a medal here or there.