“Mary,” he said hoarsely, turning, and his cheeks were ruddy with embarrassment as he smiled sheepishly, still sunk down in the water a few feet away from her. “Mary, it’s not you… it’s me.”
“What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”
“I’m turned on,” he confessed in a very quiet whisper that was barely heard over the surf, his face growing even redder. “You’re incredible to me, and I just need a few minutes away…”
“Oh,” she uttered, her eyes opening wide in shock as she turned away from him, to give him privacy… and also sank down in the water slightly, to hide herself from him.
“I’m sorry,” she said nervously, shocked.
“Please don’t… apologize.”
A simple kiss was making him…bothered?
She felt a massive smile of satisfaction bloom within her very soul at the realization, and knew it was plastered across her face. It had been so long since someone had touched her, kissed her, or reacted in a loving manner towards her.
Mary silently had felt broken deep down inside, part of the reason that she was so skittish and lacked confidence. She felt like something was inherently wrongwith her.
Joe had blamed so much on her repeatedly for so very long that she felt battered mentally, as well as when he’d laid his hands on her those few rare times.
But Jax wanted her…like that?
Like a man who loves a woman – and wasn’t acting on it because he respected her? He treated her so well, so gently and beautifully, that it was humbling to think that if this was what he acted like when he cared for a person… what would it be like if helovedher?
… And suddenly – she very much wanted to know that answer.
“Are you going to continue writing when you get back to Afghanistan?” she asked, trying to be evasive and not blurt out her feelings.
“Yes,” he said from behind her. “I’m going to call too – if that’s okay with you? I’ll try to be careful of the time difference, but I want to.”
“Good,” she nodded, crossing her arms nervously over her chest – only to feel his hand touch her upper arm. He’d grown closer at some point and was behind her now.
“Mary? I don’t justwantto - Ineedto. I desperately need this between us,” he said softly, kissing her shoulder tenderly. “Please don’t fear me, us, or any of this. I just… I’m so fond of you, and I want to see where this goes.”
Mary turned slightly and looked over her shoulder, meeting his eyes unflinchingly. She was glad he said he was ‘fond’ – and didn’t claim to love her because she would have felt alarmed. It would have been too fast, too soon, but fondness – oh yes,thatfeeling she could understand.
Her eyes searched his, seeing the warmth and concern there.
“I adore your eyes,” she whispered aloud, not holding back, and saw them widen slightly in surprise. “I really like the way you look at me – and I need to see where this goes too.”
“I’m… really g-glad,” he said emotionally, the words trembling as if they came straight from his soul. “We’re going to keep working at this and figure it all out – because I can’t imagine not knowing you.”
“It’s the same for me,” she confessed, turning fully towards him, and laying her hand on his cheek tenderly. “I’m so glad we met.”
“Me too,” he whispered earnestly, his voice so full of emotion that it was humbling to think that he was feeling so intense, wanting this so much between them. “I really need to see you again – and I never want you to worry or be scared of what this is. I’ll always be good to you, Mary. I swear it, and we can take all the time in the world that you want.”
“This is some intense date you’ve orchestrated,” she smiled tearfully at him, not holding back, and hoped he could decipher what she meant and was afraid to say. “You, Mr. Cunningham, make one incredible boyfriend. Do you know that?”
He nodded, his throat working, as he stared at her, his eyes intense.
“I hope you always think that – and never regret a moment spent with me.”
“Never,” she breathed knowingly, stepping into his arms to hug him, just needing to be close.
CHAPTER13
MARY
They playedin the water for at least an hour, almost like children, splashing and letting the surf knock them around… only getting out as the sun dipped low on the horizon. The towels were waiting on the two lonely lawn chairs, and she wrapped herself in one, before sitting down beside him. He popped open the lemonade, handing it to her, and smiled.