I immediately flagged a cab, not wanting to let the tears flow before I could get into a cab.
A cab pulled up and I immediately got in. Justin was running closely behind. As soon as we shut the door of the cab, Justin asked again.
"What is wrong Ash? Talk to me!" He looked terrified, imagining the worst. I just stared at him for a while, then burst out crying. He pulled my head close to his body and rests it on his chest to give me the opportunity to cry.
Back in the apartment, Justin was fuming in rage. "That asshole! How could he treat you that way? This is outright crazy! I've always admired him but I didn’t know he was a sadistic son of a bitch. How could he treat you so badly?
I had told him everything from the very beginning. Just as I should have done a long ago. I was still in tears, confused and distraught, not knowing what I should do next.
"You need to tell him about this Ash, he needs to take responsibilities for his actions. He can't just leave you hanging like that!" It’s unusual to see Justin being furious and yelling in this way.
”What's the use?" I said, "he doesn't want any form of commitment whatsoever. I have already humiliated myselfenough. No more Justin. I'll handle this one on my own. To hell with him.”
My voice was cracked from crying constantly. Justin moved closer to me and placed his right hand on my back, gently rubbing it trying to calm me down.
"Calm down Ashley, you don't have to handle this all on your own, I'm here for you, always! We'll figure this one out together, okay? Stop crying please, you're draining yourself out. You need to be strong for your baby. I should be the baby’s godfather, you know.” He got me laughing while I was still crying.
"See? That's it. Please stop crying and be happy. We'll get through this together." Justin's words were very reassuring, I felt more at ease now.
"Thank you, Justin.”
"Anytime, wifey. What we need to figure out now is how to get you a new job, I doubt you can still stand him."
"No. You're right, Justin. I definitely can't stand him, not one bit. I will resign and leave this town until I give birth to my baby and can get back properly on my feet.”
"Leaving town? To where? I know you don’t want to go back home in Michigan. Do you know anyone else outside of New York that you can stay with? Who could help you during your pregnancy?”
Justin continued looking really worried, “You should think this over Ash. If you stayed back here, I could look after you until you give birth, then you could leave town if you wish to.”
I smiled refusing to burden Justin any more than I already had. I was going to get through this on my own and nothing was going to make me change my mind.
"I'll be fine Justin, trust me. You know me well. I'm anything, but weak. I can handle myself just fine. All I need you to do for me is just to help me book my ticket out of town and submit my resignation letter at the office. I'll draft the letter out today so you could take it to work tomorrow. I need to leave as soon as possible before anyone comes looking for me here." Justin nodded but could not hide his sadness and concerns.
"I'll miss you" I can tell that he's trying to hold back tears from flowing down his cheeks. No kidding I was going to miss Justin terribly, I had gotten so used to having him around.
"I'll miss you too, Justin. I promise to surely keep in touch. I'll be changing my phone number, too. I'll call you with the new one once I get into the new city.”
"You had better! Or I'll hunt you down an drag you back so I can watch over you.” I laughed again, wiping my tears off entirely now. Justin turned his face away, not wanting me to see him cry.
"Are you crying?" I asked finding the strength to tease him.
"Of course not! Why would I cry? Your just imagining things". He moved away not allowing me to have the opportunity to tease him anymore.
"I'll go make us something to eat now. Throw this one up and you're on a diet till you leave town!" I laughed at his comment and turned my face to the TV to distract myself from the myriad of thoughts that has filled my head, but it’s not working.
I'm very scared and I was unsure what fate lay ahead of me.What if I really couldn't handle this on my own?
Justin brought some food in a short while. My nausea had passed and I was feeling hungry, so I ate until I’m full , went back up to my room to write the resignation letter and then laid down on the bed in my room.
The next morning, I woke up and stood in front of the mirror, checking out my body. I lifted my shirt up and looked at my belly, rubbing it gently. Then I turned to the sides, examining how my body would look with the pregnancy.
Justin sneaked up on me and joked, "So in a few months, you will be having a protruding belly and stretched out skin. Then your breasts will eventually sag and not be plump anymore. And you'll become fat and bloated like a watermelon.”
I smacked him on the back with my right arm.
"Ouch! What?! I was only helping you list out the rest changes you'll be going through so you don't go around lying to yourself.Don’t worry too much, you’ll probably be the sexiest pregnant woman."
"I didn't ask for your help, silly!" I said, reaching out for the letter I had enclosed neatly in an envelope and handing it over to him.