But now that he was looking, her robe had ridden up to reveal a tight ass covered in a scrap of lace.Great. Just what he needed. He grabbed the robe—if anyone could call the short, silky material that—and yanked it down over her ass. He didn’t need to scare his six-year-old.
As soon as he released her arms, she shot up like a rocket, straddling his right leg.
“You better let me go.” She balled one hand into a fist with the thumb tucked under her fingers while she struggled to hold her robe together with the other. The woman didn’t even know how to punch without breaking her thumb.
Nothing about this woman screamed ball bunny. Although the outfit was aggressive, there was something shy and modest about her demeanor, and the soft lavender scent was the exact opposite of the cloying perfume most bunnies he’d met wore. He was starting to feel like a perv for staring at the soft swell of her breasts against the satin fabric. It was hot, especially the way she was straddling his leg.
Jesus, idiot. Stop it.
He shook his head. His son was ten feet behind him, his ex on the other end of phone—no doubt more pissed than she had been when they were arguing two minutes prior, and he was not letting himself get turned on by the crazy ball bunny who’d broken into his house.
He sighed as she pulled her fist back.
“Okay, listen, I’m trying to be a nice guy, but I’m going to have to call the police if you hit me again.”
“Again?” She cocked her head, and her eyebrows pulled together. But her utter confusion gave him a moment to extract himself from below her and get to his feet.
“Here, give me the phone, Chris.” He held his hand out to his son.
“Oh, Mom hung up.” Chris shrugged. “She sounded angry.”
I bet she did.
Thank God the blizzard would keep her from driving up here to add to this crazy.
“I thought you were supposed to be good at catching things, Dad. How’d you miss the naked lady so badly?”
Declan closed his eyes again, trying not to laugh. “I catch baseballs. Not wet noodles falling from the sky.”
A huff came from the wet noodle as she slammed her hands on her hips.
“I thought we weren’t allowed to climb on the kitchen counters,” Chris accused.
Was it too much to ask for a few low-key days with his kid? One week. That was all he asked. He hated the cold and didn’t really want to be here. But his son wanted a white Christmas, and he would do anything for Chris.
“We’re not.” Declan narrowed his eyes. “Not sure why Goldilocks here was standing on the counters.”
“Like Goldilocks and the three bears?” Chris widened his eyes, flicking his gaze from his dad to the woman. “Is that why she’s here? To eat all our food and sleep in our beds?”
“No!” Please don’t let Chris say that to his mother. “She’s not doing that. Now, look, lady. Why don’t you tell me how you broke in and why you’re climbing on my kitchen counters.”
“Broke in? Are you kidding me?” She crossed her arms under her breasts, giving him a glimpse of cleavage as the robe shifted open at the top.
“I promise you; I amnot. I don’t joke around.” Declan struggled to keep his focus centered on her face—nowhere lower—because apparently crazy really did turn him on. After years with Lauren, it shouldn’t have surprised him that crazy was his type, but he refused to go down that road again. He’d learned the hard way what a headache it would be. A headache he’d lived with for years and wouldn’t shake for a long, long time.
“You gave me the key.”
“Really, Dad?” Chris asked. Now he had his hands on his hips too.
“No.” He spun to his son, shaking his head. “No, I did not give her a key.”
This was all he needed. His son saying, “Hey, Mom. Dad gave a half-naked Goldilocks keys to his house to surprise him.”Shit.She’d have a field day with that, and he’d get even less time with his son.
“What idiot doesn’t know when he rents his own house out?” Goldilocks huffed but spun away from him.
What was she talking about? He definitely hadn’t rented out his house this week.
“I’m not arguing with you. This is my house, and it was not available this week.”