“Noted. Do you need anything? I was thinking about coffee in bed. And then just relaxing for a bit more. Unless you have somewhere you need to be?”
“I don’t. That sounds amazing. Thank you.”
He rolled out of bed, and I watched him and his naked ass walk to the kitchen to start the coffeepot. He was certainly a fine specimen. I remembered how nervous he’d been when I first touched him yesterday. The scars were a part of his story, of who he was. I didn’t see them as a distraction or a turnoff.
I could tell by his reaction he’d never considered that would be my feelings. It made sense. He’d turned on love a long time ago and probably built up a scenario of how people would react without really knowing or giving them a chance. He’d done it in other aspects of his life. Why not this part as well? I knew the subject of the interview would come up again. It needed to. It was the elephant in the room, and we needed to talk about it so it didn’t have so much power.
Listening to him whistle as he made the coffee was a turning point for us… if you could have one of those so early in a relationship. Was that what this was? The truth of the matter was I knew I wanted him in my life, and for that to happen, there couldn’t be anything standing between us. We needed to be honest with each other. I wasn’t sure he was ready to dive deep or if I could be selfless enough to give up my hope of interviewing him. But I knew I needed to compromise, to wait until he was ready. It wasn’t necessarily giving up the dream but allowing him space to prepare for it.
And in that space, we could find each other, see who we were together, and perhaps build on that. Actually, I was feeling more selfless than I had in a long time. It was a little unnerving. I felt vulnerable. Giving up bits of control was not something I’d ever been comfortable with, but I also knew I’d never felt this way about any other person.
He handed me a mug and slid back into bed, and we sipped in silence for a few minutes. Me showing back up here and ending up in his bed again meant I needed to follow through on my feelings. To do that, I needed to communicate. The universe was telling me this was something special, and I’d be crazy to walk out on that because I couldn’t see where the path led. It was time for me to follow my heart. And if I didn’t just jump in and do it, I would chicken out and end up in his arms with cold coffee and continued unanswered questions.
“In an effort to move past yesterday morning, I need to explain a few things,” I uttered, putting my mug on the nightstand beside me. “I came back home to figure out my professional life, but I also knew you were here, thanks to my mother. Part of my motivation for coming back was to get to know you and hopefully gain an interview. You helped push that goal along when you asked me to the bonfire.”
He opened his mouth but closed it right away. I gave him a minute in case he changed his mind, but he nodded toward me instead, reaching for my hand.
“At the bonfire, everything changed. You became more than a story to me. You’re witty and smart. There’s an easy, relaxed nature between the two of us, and everything just felt right. That’s why I came back here that night with you. The story was the furthest thing from my mind. But you were right when you brought it up. That was my original intention.”
Landon exhaled slowly as his eyes met mine. “And is it still a motivation? I won’t be mad. But I want us to be honest with each other.”
“It is. The narrative is different now, though. I want to tell your story because you deserve to get your truth out there. Not because it could advance my career. So, yes. If you’re ever ready, I would love to tell your story, but it’s not why I’m in your bed right now. It will never be the reason I’m with you. I’m with you because you make me feel things I don’t think I’ve ever felt. I like who I am and how I feel when we’re together.”
He nodded. “I can’t think of a better person to tell my story. Despite my behavior yesterday, I trust you completely. And I brought this in here. In case you don’t have one with you.” He handed me a notebook and a pen.