And then they both tumbled sideways into the grass, struggling for air, the sunset having faded to serene blue above them. Drowsy eyes met through the tall blades of green, and they smiled, tangling their fingers together between them, gravitating closer, closer until their naked bodies were pressed tightly against each other.
It would have been perfect if it weren’t for the one black spot of deception that grew inkier and denser between them as her skin cooled.
But Hallie was the only one who could see it. And now that she’d allowed even more time to elapse with the secret between them, she started to get scared. What if he stopped looking at her like a goddess . . . and more like a girl who wrote intoxicated love letters in the back of an Uber?
Maybe they just needed a little more time to establish their relationship, to prove it could last before she threw a new test into its path?
Yes. That had to be for the best, didn’t it?
She’d take back the confession letter and tell him later, once they were more solid.
However long it took to gain the courage, she would tell him.
Later that night, when they were asleep in her bed, Julian’s arm curled around her waist, she carefully slipped free of his embrace, left a pile of treats for the dogs, and slipped out into the night.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Julian woke up in stages, which was unusual for him.
Normally, his alarm sounded and he went from a dead sleep to fully awake, already on the clock, mentally prepared to dig into his schedule. For the last couple of weeks, he’d woken up praying he could adhere to some semblance of structure, though he’d started to find it hopeless these past few days. Now, in Hallie’s bed, he regained consciousness totally devoid of any motivation to do anything but lie there in her warmth, in this room that smelled like flowers and detergent and dogs and sex. Because, yes, he’d gotten painfully hard watching her go through her nighttime routine of putting on lotions and short, silky pajamas and blowing kisses to the dogs. The mattress had creaked for another half hour before they fell into an exhausted spooning position, her amazing butt tucked into his lap like it was made for him.
Thank Christ he’d pulled his head out of his ass before doing something stupid, like going back to Stanford and leaving Hallie behind in St. Helena.
He loved teaching. A lot. He would look into sporadic guest speaking engagements, and, truth be told, he was even more eager to lecture about the meaning of time now that he had a new perspective. Before, he’d been concerned with passing on information. Facts. Now he wondered if he might make a difference in the lives of the students who came to listen to him. Maybe he could prevent them from making the same mistakes as him, taking for granted that the important things in his life would still be there when he was ready. More time would never yield itself unless he made it.
It didn’t even require as much effort as he thought to picture himself here, in St. Helena, using his time to make his mother’s days easier. His father might not be happy about it, but Dalton wasn’t here. Julian was prepared to embrace the sense of ownership of the land that bore his name.
His sister’s future remained to be seen, but he could help there, too, when she was ready to ask for it.
Then there was Hallie.
His heart woke up in his chest, firing so suddenly, he sucked in a breath.
Automatically, his hand smoothed across to her side of the bed, hoping for curls. Or skin. That smooth skin of hers that made him feel like sandpaper, roughing up and reddening her, leaving imprints of fingertips and teeth behind. He’d catalogue the damage right now. Kiss every mark he’d left behind . . .
His eyes opened, head turning.
No Hallie at all. No blond curls on her big, fluffy yellow pillow.
Where was she?
He sat up and listened, heard nothing except the dogs snoring in various places around the bedroom. Todd had taken edge-of-the-bed honors while the other two were sprawled on the dog beds in the corner. Other than that, there was no audible movement in the cottage. No lights on, either. Though maybe she’d gone into the en suite bathroom and left the light off so she wouldn’t wake him up?
“Hallie,” Julian called, annoyed by the finger of cold that traced up the back of his neck. There was no reason to be worried or alarmed. It’s not like she’d disappeared into thin air.
Still, when there was no response from the other side of the bathroom door, he threw off the covers, his feet already carrying him across the angled area rug. He checked in the bathroom just to be sure, then left the bedroom with added purpose in his step. Kitchen or backyard. She’d be in one of those two places. They didn’t discuss her sleeping habits, but didn’t it stand to reason that Hallie’s should be irregular?