All my study was by distance learning anyway—since there was no way that Papà would ever allow me to physically attend a college campus. So once married, all I had to do was find some time to squeeze in my studies when Lorenzo wasn’t around. I was sure I would be able to manage that.
Ma came into the den, hugging a large bowl of popcorn to her chest.
Popcorn in front of the TV was one of Ma’s favorite past-times, picking up the habit when she arrived in the States from Italy twenty years ago. She snatched up the TV remote and flicked the channel over.
“Ma, I’m watching a program about the workings of international stock markets,” I exclaimed.
“There’s no need to watch such nonsense.” She waved a hand dismissively at me. “It has nothing to do with us.”Because we earned our money illegally. “That isn’t real life.”
She turned over to her favorite reality show: The Real Housewives of Sunset Beach.
“We can watch this together instead,” Ma said.
“But I really wanted to watch the other program,” I protested.
Ma narrowed her eyes at me—and then burst into tears. “You d-don’t want to spend some q-q-quality time with your Ma before you get married?” she sobbed.
“I didn’t say that, Ma—”
“Yes, you did!” she snapped. “You’d said you’d rather watch that other program because you know I won’t stay and watch it with you.”
“Ma—”
“It’s always the same with you, wanting to watch these stupid money programs you know I can’t understand. I don’t think you love me anymore,” she wailed.
“You’re being silly,” I sighed.
In between her tears, she slid her beady eyes over to look at me. “And you probably already love Lorenzo more than you’ve ever loved me!”
I most certainly didnotlove Lorenzo. And I wasn’t going to fall for a sinner. Because you couldn’t catch feelings for a bad guy…could you? Anyway, I definitely didn’t want to talk to Ma about such things. “Okay, okay, we’ll watch the Real Housewives…”
At my words, the tears stopped—a bit too quickly, I thought with suspicion.
The opening credits of the latest episode began, and Ma sighed with pleasure as she watched the show and shoved handfuls of popcorn into her mouth.
Aunt Priscilla, dressed in an orange, leopard-print mini-skirt, came in and sat next to Ma. “These American women dress so trashy,” she uttered in horror as she looked at the screen.
“This is what living the American Dream must be like,” Ma said wistfully. “American women have no worries apart from wondering what to wear, which party to go to, and what bitchy things they should say behind whose back.”
Ma still considered herself Italian. To her, Americans were an alien species, their habits to be observed and commented upon.
“What happened on the last episode?” I asked, resigning myself to the fact that I wasn’t going to get to watch the rest of the stock market program.
Ma’s eyes lit up as she revealed the latest goings-on. “Brayden is going to propose to Briana today because she is his one true love, and then they’re going to have perfect babies and live happily ever after.”
“Are you sure, Ma?” My tone was skeptical. “Brayden’s been banging Briana’s half-sister, Hailey, as well as the neighbor with the big boobs.”
“Yes, I’m sure,” Ma nodded manically. “Those floozies were just a phase. He’s grown up a lot since that episode last week, and I’m sure I just heard him swear his undying love to Briana.” Ma’s saucer-like eyes were glued to the screen as she slowly brought another handful of popcorn up to her mouth.
“Ma, he didn’t just say that—”
“Yes, he did. Didn’t you hear him?” Ma looked at me like I was a complete idiot.
“Uh huh,” I murmured, somewhat disbelievingly. Ma had a tendency to lie about what had actually happened when I asked her for a catch-up on an episode.
She said it was because they spoke too fast, and her English wasn’t good enough to keep up with what they were saying.
I thought, however, that she liked to have various unspoiled scenarios playing out in her mind. And in those scenarios, life was perfect: no one cheated, no one stole, and absolutely no one killed one another. As I’d gotten older, I noticed that she also ignored all the ugly details in our own lives. This made-up world playing out in her mind was the complete opposite of her real life; however, her deliberate oblivion kept her seemingly happy.