A few moments later, Lorenzo came into the room, walking over to the children and kissing them both on their heads.
He paused after kissing Clara and stared at her. “You've brushed your hair. It looks really beautiful, especially with the bow. Did Anni put the ribbon in for you?”
She nodded, giving him a shy smile, as he ran a hand over her dark curls.
Lorenzo fixed his gaze on Clara's plate, obviously taking in how much she had eaten—which wasn't much, especially compared to Clemente who had almost finished his plate.
At that moment, Lorenzo’s cell rang. “Excuse me,” he murmured as he walked out of the room.
I got up and followed him. When I walked into his study, he shot me a hard look, annoyed at my interruption. But I stayed put, waiting for him to finish because I wanted to speak to him out of the earshot of the children.
As he spoke into the phone, his eyes raked over my whole body, his attention making me feel lightheaded and breathy. I shook myself mentally, remembering what I needed to talk to him about.
When he’d finished his call and hung up, he turned to me. “What the hell did you do with the drapes in the dining room?”
Although taken aback by his tone, I tried to reply as calmly as possible “I decided to take them down to make the room brighter. They made the room dark and gloomy.”
His jaw clenched. “I like dark and gloomy.”
“I just don’t think it helps achieve a relaxed family atmosphere.” I gave my opinion even though it was obvious he wasn’t interested in my views.
“You need to get Clara to eat more,” he said sharply.
I plucked up the courage to ask him what I needed to know. “Lorenzo…how did your first wife die, and what do the children know about it?”
He fixed an icy gaze on me. “That’s none of your damn business.”
“If I knew, it might allow me to understand the children more and how to help them deal with their grief and related issues like their appetite. It’s obvious that they are still grieving for their mother.”
“Don’t ever bring this up again.” His voice was low and threatening.
I tried to stay strong, despite his obvious hostility to me. “I think it would help if you were home for dinner more.” Despite his scowl, I continued. “I think Clara has some separation anxiety. She seems to be wondering all the time about when you will be returning, and that anxiety may be causing her to lose her appetite.”
Lorenzo paused to think about what I had said. “Fine,” he said tersely. “I'll try to be home for meals more. And I’ll stay for breakfast tomorrow morning.”
I was about to thank him for that, but then he carried on. “Clara is still wearing that same dirty blue dress,” he snapped. “I told you this morning to make sure you changed it after breakfast.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to try to explain—that I had tried and Clara had refused, but that I had taken Clara to choose some new clothes today that she might like because they were blue. But then I realized that he would just snap that she wasn't actually wearing the new clothes, and so I just kept quiet and returned to the children in the dining room.
Another evening lay ahead of him being holed up in his study, while I was left alone with only the children to talk to. Although I was loving spending time with them, I was climbing the walls after only a few days due to the lack of adult company.
Our evening routine seemed to consist of Lorenzo avoiding me as much as possible, talking to me only if it was to issue some command regarding the children.
Going to bed alone that night, I thought how I’d been right in the first place when I’d thought that becoming a Mafia wife at the age of twenty was a very bad idea. But even then, I’d never imagined when I’d got engaged to Lorenzo that my marriage would be in any way lonely.
I’d been brought up in a big, loving family, where there were always people to talk to and plenty of affection from my parents, siblings and extended family. Since my marriage and coming to Chicago, the most interaction I’d had with any adult so far had been with Adelina. Was this how my whole marriage was destined to be?
Added to that, thoughts of my kiss with Lorenzo on our wedding night kept flitting through my mind. And although I wouldn’t admit it to anyone, I started to let myself wonder what it would be like to have him kiss me again.
Each morning and evening, I admired his body when he wasn’t watching, thinking about what it would be like to run my hands over his muscles and bare chest, and how it would feel to have him touch and kiss me in my most sensitive places. What would it feel like to have his body cover mine?
Shaking my head, I pushed these ideas away and tried to think about something else. I didn’t know why I kept having these strange thoughts, and why these musings made my body heat and feel uncomfortable, but I told myself it was solely because I was starved of adult company.
CHAPTER 19
ANNUNCIATA
The following morning we woke, and we adopted the same routine as the day before.