I breathe out a shaky laugh and shake my head. She’s not wrong. Me? A father? I drag over another chair for myself and nearly collapse onto the cushion. Kylie eyes me before taking the chair across from me.
“How long have you known?”
“Since this morning, actually,” she says, holding her hands in her lap. “I’m still super pissed at you for ditching out on me like you did…but I wanted you to be the first to know.”
She’s killing me. All I’ve wanted to do since meeting Kylie is hold her in my arms and never let her go. I’m sure I look like crap after wasting the days here feeling sorry for myself. Being in front of someone in anything other than a suit feels uncomfortable. Except for when I’m around Kylie, of course. If anything, I want as minimal clothing between us as possible. And even through the numbness all the feelings I have for her come flooding back, making my body respond in ways that are not appropriate right now.
“Well, thank you,” I stammer, unsure what else to say. My head is spinning with guilt, being mad at myself for what I’ve done the last few weeks, and the scent of Kylie that I’ve missed so much I’m having a hard time concentrating.
Her face falls a little. “You’re welcome.”
“So, what do you want to do? I know your move to New York didn’t have baby on the list.”
“It didn’t have a lot of things on this list,” she muses. “I think it’s safe to say my plans have all gone to shit and I need a new one.”
“Any ideas?”
“Depends.”
“On?” She blinks at me, and my heart speeds up. Right. I clear my throat. “Ah, yes. Well.”
“You don’t have to be a part of this if you don’t want to,” she says quickly. “I know a baby wasn’t on your list either.”
That had me reeling a bit. To think she was already expecting me to wipe my hands clean of all this…
“Yeah, well, my list was shit to begin with.” I stand and cross over to her, taking her by the hand and pulling her up to me. “Until I found you. And the only reason I pushed you away is because I thought it would be the only way to keep you safe and happy. But these last few weeks have been miserable for me.”
“Really?” She tries to hide a smile, but the thought of my misery peps her up a little.
“Yes, really.” Seeing her now makes me realize even more what an ass I’ve been. “I want you by my side. I want you and our baby to know that I’m not going anywhere.”
I hope she realizes how serious I am. I would never leave her to take on the kind of responsibility alone.
Her eyes well up, and she asks softly, “What made you change your mind? The baby?”
“No. Well, yes, but no.” I know what she is thinking. “I knew I made a mistake right away, but I was hoping it would get easier.” I smile and wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her closer. “But it didn’t. It just got harder and harder, and by that time, I was sure you’d moved on and I didn’t want to upset your life by coming back into it.”
“You know I don’t like people make decisions for me, especially when they say it’s for my own good.” She wraps her arms around my neck, drawing me closer.
“Oh, I know.” I kiss her lightly on the cheek.
“And you know you screwed up, right?”
I kiss her on the neck. “Oh, I do. Big time.”
“Well, I think maybe it should be my job to think for the both of us because you look a mess.” She laughs as she leans her head back while I continue to kiss down her throat.
“I totally agree.” I kiss her lips lightly as I feel her relax into my body.
“Johnathan.” She pulls back.
“Yes?” I want to devour her right here and now.
“You need a shower.” We both laugh out loud.
As I sweep her up into my arms, I can’t believe how lucky I am she is so damn stubborn. I whisper in her ear, “I couldn’t agree more. Especially with you joining me.”
I carry her down the hallway to my bathroom suite, kick the clothes out of the way, and turn the shower on. “Oh my…” She looks around in surprise at the piles of laundry on the floor.