Are there any decent men out there? Is there someone who can make my heart beat again? This locket is the only thing that helped when I was pushed into the darkness. I pictured a real man taking me and loving me for who I am. Someone who didn’t force me, someone who let me be the person I was meant to be.
When I’m finished with school I plan on being a psychologist. I want to help people, but I know before I do that I need to help myself.
First Day of College
The mornings are cool here in Rhode Island, but nice. I love it actually. It’s quite a change from where I use to live.
It’s my first day at the university, and I am dressed in dark, fitted jeans and a hoodie. I pulled my hair into a ponytail today. I did end up meeting my roommate the other day when I moved all my things in. She seems nice; maybe a little quiet, but I like her. Her name is Shannon. She has short blonde hair, is pretty, and looks like she is a bit of a loner. Which is fine with me. Honestly, I would rather have a roommate that is quiet and keeps to herself than a party animal.
When I walk in Shannon is already there, reading what looks like a flyer.
“Hey Shannon, what’s up?” I smile and she looks up and smiles back.
“Oh hey, Erica.” She nervously put the paper down.
“What’s that?” I go to grab the paper and she gives me a timid look. This girl is completely unsettled.
The paper says there is a party tonight on campus at one of the fraternity houses.
“You want to go?” I raise an eyebrow and she shakes her head no.
“Why not? Could be fun,” I admit, not really knowing if it would be. I have never been to a frat party before.
“I can’t go to parties; last time I went to a party it ended badly.” She sighs and sits down on her bed.
“What do you mean it ended badly?” I question.
“Long story short, there is this guy I like. He’s a junior, I’m a freshman now, but when we met I was still in high school. Anyway, I went to one of those parties and we hooked up. He never talked to me again after that night and my stupid ass can’t stop obsessing over him.” She groans.
“Like I literally think about him all day every day and it’s becoming a borderline obsession and I hate being this way. I really do.” Her voice cracks and my heart actually hurts for her.
“Shannon, you can’t let him control your life. Anyway you know what they say, right? The only way to get over someone is to get under someone else.” I smile and she laughs for the first time, and I know that Shannon and I are going to be great friends.
Hours later we are both staring at our laptops, not really working, so I shut mine. “Come on, let's get dressed up and go. There is no use sulking around here. Let’s go have some fun.” I give her a big smile, hoping she budges. Shannon huffs out a sigh and I know I’ve won.
“Okay, I’ll go with you, but if I see him I might want to leave.” I nod.
“Of course, but just remember what I said. Maybe if you meet someone else you will get over him.”
“Erica, he was so perfect; so attentive. I woke up the next morning alone in his bed. When I walked out of his room and ambled down the stairs there he was, shirtless, in the kitchen. He was silent and wouldn’t make eye contact with me as he drank his coffee. It was humiliating. I knew then he just used me, and I felt like a fool.” I can’t believe such a beautiful girl can be so hung up on one guy.
Shannon may be quiet and reserved, but she’s beautiful.
“I’m sorry that happened to you; trust me, I know the feeling. But you need to move on. He isn’t worth it.”
“I know, I know,” she grumbles in her hands.
“Come on, let's go get ready,” I suggest, and she follows.
Two hours later we are showered, shaved, hair and makeup done, looking at each other in the mirror.
Shannon is wearing a tight black dress that hugs her small frame, and high heels. Her shoulder-length blonde hair is pin straight and she is wearing minimal makeup but her skin is so perfect she really doesn't need much.
I am wearing a red dress I found on clearance at a thrift store. It's tight around the bust and then flares out. Shannon comes from money, like most of the kids here, but I was her once and I know what it’s like to be on other side, and right now it kind of sucks.
“Girl, you look hot with that red dress and red lipstick,” Shannon compliments me, and I smile.
“You look hot, too, bitch; now let’s go.” We both laugh, making our way out of our dorm. I am starting to feel good about my decision in coming here as I walk to the party with my new friend.