“This is the sexiest fucking thing I have ever seen,” he grunts while pumping himself faster.
“Do you want me?” I ask him, and he visibly swallows. He’s looking at me still touching myself.
I start to walk over to him and pull my panties off.
He grabs me by the waist and I take his head and pull him towards my center. I want him down there so bad. He spins me around and I land on my back, my ass at the edge of the bed when his mouth meets my core. He licks, sucks, and devours me until I’m left shaking and trembling with need.
“Shit! Don’t stop!” I plead, and he doesn’t.
White spots start to cloud my vision as I explode into a million beautiful, sinful pieces. His mouth doesn’t stop as he licks me clean.
He sits up to kiss me. I can taste myself on him.
I’m still a quivering mess when he slams into me so hard I gasp.
“Yes!” I shout.
“That’s right, baby; I’m yours always and forever. Your perfect body is made for me.” He groans, slamming in and out of me.
It doesn’t take him long to let go, and I follow right along with him. He lies on top of me with his elbows on both sides of my head, staring into my eyes.
I start to think about Stephanie at school and how she wants Jared. I start to think of all the women that probably throw themselves at him.
My insecurities are on high alert and I can’t help how I feel. Not only that but his job.
Lately it's been hard to see him putting himself in danger. Not that I really know what goes on, but I have an idea that what they’re involved in is illegal. If Jared gets arrested or, worse, ends up dead…I could never come back from that. Am I better off just leaving him? Do I really want to continuously worry about his well-being?
I don’t know why so many emotions are starting to swirl inside of me. I start to get anxious, and before I lose it I get up and run to the bathroom.
“Babe? What’s wrong? Open the door,” he pleads on the other side as I stare at myself in the mirror. One tear falls after the other and I feel all my emotions come crashing down on me.
I silently weep for the mother I lost and the girl I used to be. I think about all of the things that have happened to me andthe thought of losing Jared. A feeling of helplessness takes over, which makes me even more upset.
“Babe, I can hear you crying. Please open the door.” He talks softly, and I can feel how worried he is about me.
When I open the door I’m back in my clothes.
“I think I’m going to go back to my dorm for a little while. You can have whoever you want tail me, but I just need some time to clear my head,” I say, not looking in his eyes. He then moves my chin up so my eyes have nowhere else to look but his.
“My lifestyle is something you should understand by now, baby. I know it worries you, I can see it, but you have to trust me.”
“Jared, the thought of something happening to you…” I pause to catch my breath.
“Let’s just pack up and go. We can disappear. Just us,” I plead, and he gives me a look like I’m crazy.
“Babe, you know I can’t do that,” he says, and I crumble.
“I’m sorry, I have to go.” I feel weak and I hate that. I want to build myself back up again and be the woman he deserves. I’m always afraid and I’m tired of feeling this way.
“Are you serious?” He sounds as defeated as I feel. I’m fucked up in my head right now. I don’t know what else to say.
“I can take you back.”
“Okay.” I don’t even bother to argue.
“I’ll give you tonight but rest assured you are mine, Erica. I can’t be anything without you.” I nod okay with watery eyes, then leave the room.
When he drops me off and walks me inside I collapse on my bed. I’m starting to feel anxious and confused. I was fine earlier, and now I’m full of mixed emotions I can’t seem to control.