"Admitting love is basically giving another person the power to destroy you. Telling Ava I’m falling in love with her would be my downfall."
"Downfall?” Ethan laughed. “Oh, Hugo, don't be so dramatic. This is Ava, who doesn't have a mean bone in her body. Don't you trust her enough not to do that?"
"Trust is a very difficult thing for me."
"But obviously she already has this power over you.”
I closed my eyes and let out a weary sigh. "Of course she does. But it doesn’t matter anymore. It's too late and she wants to leave. She refuses to believe me and who can blame her?"
"Hugo, I—” Ethan took a deep breath. “I’ve been trying to put myself in your shoes recently and some things make sense. Open up to her, let yourself be vulnerable. If you can allow yourself to lay down your weapons for anyone, it’s her,” Ethan added gently and I hated the compassion in his voice. "I know my Ava. She’s been way more forgiving and patient with me than she should have been. Tell her everything and I can assure you it’s not too late."
I sighed. “Fine, I’ll try it your way. Goodbye, brother.”
The conversation with Ethan haunted my mind all morning to the point that I gave up on work around lunchtime and went back to the estate, a little apprehensive to fully open up to her.
When I walked upstairs, her door was open and she was sitting on the bed, reading a book.
"How are you doing?" I asked, standing in the doorway.
She startled before placing the book she was reading on her knees and giving me what seemed like a genuine smile. "Oh, I’m fine." She glanced at the clock on her night table. “You’re back early. Is everything alright?”
I took a tentative step into the room. "Do you have a minute? There is something I'd like to show you."
She shook her head. "Maybe some other time? I’ve just done my walk with the nurse and I'm tired."
"Please, only a minute. I'll carry you if you're tired." Just the idea of holding her in my arms, being surrounded by her warmth, made my body react in very unsettling ways.
Ava put her hand up to stop me. "Oh no, it's okay! I can walk, really."
I didn’t miss the faint flush in her cheeks. Could she still be as affected as I was by the idea of being in my arms? That was something I could work on. If the desire was still there, maybe the feelings were too.
I stopped a couple of steps from her bed and extended my elbow. She threw me a cautious look before hooking her arm with mine. Slowly, we walked to the closed door at the end of the corridor.
"Is this where you hide the bodies?" she asked in a lame attempt to break the awkward silence that descended between us.
I gave her a half smile as we stopped in front of a closed door. "No, that's the basement. This is something I've been organizing for the past couple of weeks." I opened the door and gestured for her to step inside, keeping my eyes on her face to see her reaction.
As soon as she walked in, her eyes widened. I couldn’t help but smile at the surprise on her face.
"A nursery, for our child," I said softly.
"This is beautiful, Hugo." She walked to the wall where I had set wooden shapes of horses in a meadow. “I have read books about cognitive development and that babies surrounded with different shapes and colors tend to develop faster,” I offered, rubbing my neck self-consciously.
“How thoughtful.” She touched the black stallion with her fingers before turning to me. "You did all of these?"
I nodded, coming to stand by the crib. "To some extent, I did. I designed it all. The crib is my favorite piece."
Ava took in all the details in the room and stopped at the rocking chair by the window. "I don't know what to say," she said, her voice thick with emotion.
I could see how much the gesture really touched her. It was now or never.
"Say you'll stay and not just until your parents come back. Stay here with me."
"Why?" Ava asked, standing on the other side of the crib.
"Why what?" I repeated, quite unprepared for her question. I had expected her to say no.
"Why should I stay?"