“Believe it or not, Damianwasthe biggest of the three.”
Ethan grimaced. “Really? Did you feel anything at all with the others?”
I waved my hand dismissively. “That guy was huge.” Lord, when I saw it the first time, I was not sure it would fit at all.
“How huge?”
I knew he was not going to let it go unless I gave him a straight answer. “Seven and a half? Maybe eight inches?”
“Eight?” He nodded thoughtfully. “Not bad.”
Not bad. Yeah, that was one way to put it.
“Do you regret it?” he asked and despite his debonair attitude, I knew that he genuinely wondered. He was the one who’d advised me to let loose a little, to enjoy myself. He had been right, though. I was always doing what was expected from good little Ava and yet it never stopped my boyfriends from being trash.
“No, I don’t,” I admitted. “He was very gifted and made me feel things I never…” I sighed, not even sure how to put all my feelings into words. “I think it’s because I knew there would be no tomorrow, no consequences, you know? There was no thought of what he might think of me in the morning. I let go of all my inhibitions and it was…”
“Glorious?”
I smiled. “Glorious.” I leaned back in my chair, drinking my latte and watching him in silence. I took in his dark pants and his moss green polo shirt that made his eyes greener. “Why are you dressed so fancy today? And why are you up so early?” I was usually the one waking up with the birds. Ethan usually slept until twelve on the weekends.
“We need to find you a dress and Bond Street gets busy fast.”
“Why would we be going to Bond Street?”
“Did you forget we’re going to my father’s birthday party tonight?”
I shook my head. “No, I didn’t.” I jerked my thumb toward my bedroom. “I’ve got a lovely dress I bought inRiver Island and…”
“No.” He shook his head. “My fiancée can’t wear River Island. You have to wear designer.”
I got up from my chair with a snort. “Don’t be stupid. You don’t need to buy me a designer dress.”
“It’s the least you deserve for what I’ve been asking from you all these years.”
I shook my head and walked to him, wrapping my arm around his shoulders. “It’s no problem. Your coming out is your decision and yours alone. Nobody can tell you how or when to do it and if you’re not doing it? It’s fine, too. I told you before and I’ll say it again, I’ll always be here for you.”
He wrapped his arm around my waist and rested his head on my chest. “I’m still not ready to lose him.”
I simply tightened my arm around him because what could I even tell him? I sighed. “What about renting one? Kate could get us one today.”
He nodded. “That works.”
I disengaged myself and started to make my way to the bedroom.
“Do you still have your engagement ring?” he asked just before I walked inside.
“Yes, it’s in the small safe in my wardrobe.”
Ethan let out a little laugh. “You know it’s moissanite, right? It’s not a real diamond.”
“You paid £450 for that ring, Ethan. It’s the most expensive piece of jewelry I own. If we’d picked the cubic zirconia from Argos, it would have been £30.”
Ethan rolled his eyes. “My mom would spot a zirconia in the dark and you deserved that ring, Ava. If I could, I’d buy you the real deal. I do love you.”
I smiled. “I love you, too,” I replied, going into my bedroom.
I met Ethan during my second year at Uni. He’d just started his Doctorate and we connected over a mixed-up coffee order at the Costa near campus. We immediately felt the kinship that had been steadily growing for the past six years.