“Yeah?”
“Are… Are you the bastard who’s not claiming his blood?”
“It’s not that easy. This whole situation is a mess.”
“You claim your blood, St-John. No questions asked.”
His voice carried a hardness I had never heard in all our years of friendship. It was a hardness that caused shame to rise to the surface—only one of the many new feelings that Ava had planted in me.
“I amnota monster, Ben. I have offered financial support. She rejected it and me in the same breath.”
“I can so imagine proper Hugo St-John standing in her home, dressed in his perfectly tailored suit, looking down at her with a little condescension, probably offering a bank transfer and treating her pregnancy and the life growing inside her like a business transaction.” He laughed. “Tell me how far from the truth I am.”
“Go fuck yourself,” I replied, feeling my cheeks turning red in anger and embarrassment.
“No wonder she’s avoiding you like the plague. You’re the poster child for ‘emotionally stunted’.”
“I’m hanging up now, Ben.”
“Make her jealous,” he added quickly.
“What?”
“Make her jealous,” he repeated. “I saw it when I was there. It’s so obvious that she is crazy enough to like you, too. It took another billionaire asshole to go after her for you to realize it, and don’t bother denying it. I’m getting tired and I need my beauty sleep. Let her go on that stupid date, and once we get that stupid contract signed, go do your thing.”
I rolled my eyes. “Goodnight, Ben.”
I sat there for a few minutes, rubbing my lips together, trying to convince myself that all of Ben’s words were utter shit and I should forget about them; and yet, I could not stop contemplating them.
Maybe I should actually go on a date with one of the women who made the ‘approved’ list my father kept mentioning whenever he thought about my lack of an heir. If I really gave it a try, I’d see if I could get a mess-free life with one of the appropriately raised women who would fit in my life so easily. If not, I would at least know the truth about Ava’s feelings and if there was more to her than her disdain and barely veiled dislike and distrust.
I sighed, rubbing my jaw. If this proved to be the worst-case scenario and I went for her, the mess, the gossip and the stigma that would follow would leave a black mark on my family name. Something I’d worked so hard to avoid and something that my father would never forgive me for. And something I was not even sure I truly cared about anymore.
Ava would become thetofferwho went after both St-John brothers and got them. I would become a woman thief and a brother betrayer and we will be the source of all the gossip my father and stepmother loved to feed off.
I leaned down on my hand and looked down on my desk. Despite the confusing struggle, part of me hoped the choice would be made for me. That she would fall deeply in love with Hardings, despite the gut-wrenching feeling it caused me or that I would have a genuine spark of interest in whichever woman I picked. Or maybe my interest in her would simply fade and Ava’s would never spark.
I snorted humorlessly. When was I ever that lucky?
One night, four months ago, in that silly bar when you met desire personified, when you spent a night so intense that images of it still haunted your wet dreams and your daily shower masturbation.
As I looked at her now, detailing the side of her face as she typed away, oblivious to my turmoil, I realized something.
Meeting Ava had been more than bad luck—it was my curse. My penance for all my sins.
Chapter 15
Ava
AsIsatbesideJames Hardings in the limousine parked in front of my apartment, I couldn’t help but feel like I was doing something wrong.
Part of me felt like I was betraying Hugo and he had been in the back of my mind when I had picked the less-revealing outfit I’d bought the day before; a midnight-blue loose-fitting chiffon dress. I snapped a photo of myself wearing it and sent it to him before overthinking it, feeling like I was the one crossing the already blurred line of our relationship.
“You look stunning,” James said, grabbing my hand and kissing the back of it.
“So do you.” I forced a smile and it took all my willpower not to remove my hand from his.
James Hardings was very attractive with his Leo DiCaprio vibe. Not even six months ago, I would probably have let myself be swooned, now I felt uncomfortable and it was only the thought of the investment that stopped me from coming up with an excuse and going home.