“You said I shouldn't use any derogatory terms and yet you’re the one doing it.”
“Because you’re thinking it,” I replied defensively.
“I’m trying here, Ava. I’m giving civility a chance and you’re not even ready to reach for it.” He turned toward the waiter and I was glad he could not see my face because I felt like a giant bitch. "You see, I abhor social gatherings. But sadly, in my line of work, I have to indulge in these events and entertain men with more money than sense." He sighed. "I don't mind what people think of me, Ava, but many people want to interact with me for ulterior motives.” He shrugged. “I thought your presence would make the evening a little less boring.”
After he ordered another coffee, he turned to me and I sighed, leaning back in my seat. I could try as well, if only to gain his ‘forgiveness’ for whatever sins he considered that Ethan and I still had to expiate.
“I’m not going to sleep with him, tomorrow or any night after that. At least, not in the near future.” I took a sip of tea and decided to be completely honest. “I know you have a hard time believing it, but Ethan didn’t lie to you. You were my first ever one-night stand and lord knows you will be my last.”
He put his elbows on the table, leaning forward, and I was almost tempted to remind him of the decorum he prized so much, but the way his hazel eyes were locked on mine, the curiosity and amiability in them replacing his usual contempt, mesmerized me.
“Why did you do it then, if it was so out of character? Why me?”
“I—” I rubbed my forefinger against my bottom lip as I tried to organize my thoughts, knowing how embarrassing the truth really was. Maybe if he knew the whole sad story, he would have a spark of conscience and let me go.
I let my hand drop as I noticed his eyes on my lips. My heart squeezed at the thought of leaving him, in a way that was very similar to longing. It had to be the hormones because I could not long for him.
“Not that it should matter, but I’ve only been with three men in my life and the last one before you had been my boyfriend for years before I caught him cheating on me.” I grimaced. “It wasn’t my finest moment. Anyway…” I waved my hand dismissively. “I was down because I'd wasted a few years yet again on someone not worth it. Ethan advised me to just try to have fun for once, and this was how I met Colton… Which we can both agree was the mistake of a lifetime.”
He looked down at his cup for a few seconds and I was about to apologize for what must have come across as another jab when he looked up.
“What about piano?”
“Piano?”
“How do you know all that? And don’t start again about my bias on our culture gap. All you discussed today with Hardings is not common knowledge.”
“I will give you that. I don’t know if you know that but my mother is from Iran.”
"I did.”
“Ah, well, it’s a step up from your mother calling me the jewel of the Nile.”
“Step-mother,” he spat; no lost love there, either. “And, as we both know, upper classes are not known for their all-inclusiveness.”
I couldn’t help but smile at that. “You said it, not me. You should have seen the face of Viscountwhateverwhen I told him I voted Labour.”
Hugo burst into laughter and suddenly my heart stalled. I felt just as overwhelmed as I had been in that hotel room as I detailed his face, trying to memorize what true amusement looked like on him; the crow’s feet at the corner of his eyes, the dimple on his left cheek. Except that this time it was not lust taking over me, but a sort of awe that could be even more dangerous.
I almost regretted the mean side of Hugo because this side was much more terrifying. Seeing this side too much could make me fall in love with him.
I cleared my throat and stood up at the realization. “I want to go home now, sorry. I’m tired. I can tak—”
He stood up as well, his eyebrows puckered in confusion. “No, it’s fine. I need to call our lawyer in the US anyway, so I’ll be going home.”
“Do you ever not work?” I blurted as we stepped out of the restaurant.
“Yes, I do.” He threw me a knowing look and I shook my head with a smile.“I enjoy working, it makes sense to me. It fulfills me. I’m not the kind of man who ever wanted anything else from life.”
I understood what he had not put into words this time. He was not a husband or a father, and this time he didn’t say it to be an ass. He really meant it.
He drove me back and I was grateful not to have to make conversation. I was exhausted despite the nap, and tonight's confusing feelings were draining the little energy I had left.
He stopped in front of my flat sooner than I anticipated and I just looked out the window for a couple of seconds, as if to register what I needed to do.
“I’m curious,” he started, unbuckling his belt and turning toward me with a serious look.
“About?”His eyes softened, as he took a deep breath. “Which one of the dresses I bought for you today will you be wearing tomorrow to your date with Hardings?”