I shrugged, removing my glasses and wiping them with a cloth. “Truth be told, I stopped somewhere after the second blowjob.” I sighed, leaning back in my seat.
“Jealous of my stamina?” He grinned. “You’re just getting old.”
I snorted. “I’m 34, Ben, hardly geriatric, and if I remember correctly, you will be 36 next month.”
“Yes, but my dick is 20,” he added with a boyish grin. “And that's the age that really matters.”
I sighed again, putting my glasses back on before glancing at my watch. It was almost 8:30 and Ava was still not here. It was unlike her because as infuriating as it was to admit it, she'd so far been the best assistant I’d ever had, regardless of whatever crazy tasks I threw her way.
I was not sure why I kept doing that, or what I expected to come out of all of this. I wanted her to snap and quit, but what then? I’d been bluffing when I threatened to take the child from her. The idea of being a father didn’t appeal to me and the thought of doing it without a mother? It was something that had happened to me and not something I’d ever wish for my child.
The dark, twisted part of me knew why I wanted her to fail—so I’d have an incentive, something to get her back in my bed, because I still wanted her.
This craving should have stopped long ago, but every time I thought it was gone, I saw her walk into the office, and it was back with a vengeance. Every time I saw her smile or laugh with anyone, it annoyed me more than it should because of what had happened on her first day here. I had not planned to go to the cafeteria; I was not that monstrous, and she was allowed to eat, especially now that she was carrying a life that was partially mine. And my stomach twisted at the thought of that life growing in her. It was an unfamiliar feeling, something I didn’t want to process or acknowledge, and I tried to bury it deep with all the rest of my unwanted feelings.
But then I saw her laugh through the glass wall at something the young guy across from her said, and I felt it—the pang of jealousy, something too intense and foreign I had no chance of controlling. Something inside me took over and I shamed her in the middle of the full cafeteria, adding yet another layer to my despicable reputation.
“Hugo, seriously?”
I focused back on a frowning Ben, his previous good humor replaced by mild irritation. I could not blame him, I’d spaced out on him twice, and if the situation was reversed, I would not be so polite.
“My assistant is late,” I replied lamely.
He turned around to look at the empty desk through the glass and back at me. “So? What do we need her for?”
“The board meeting, Ben, or have you forgotten that the main reason for this trip was not sexual?” I snapped coldly.
He raised his eyebrows, visibly surprised by my defensiveness. “I remember, but we’ve been over the numbers yesterday and it’s not set until 10. None of the other members are here. Fuck, man, I dragged my ass out of bed early so we could spend some time together since you’re never in New York anymore.” He threw his hands up in exasperation. “I thought we were friends. Sorry for making a mistake.”
“It’s not a mistake. I’m just annoyed because I need a few more documents for the meeting, especially for the new expansion project.”
He smiled. “There’s still plenty of time. Talking about the expansion project, when are you coming back? You were supposed to be here for a few days. It’s been five weeks.”
“I know, things came up.” The woman I got pregnant is taking up a lot more space in my head than I initially intended. “My father is stepping away for a while.” It was not a lie, except that it had been happening for over a year already.
“Are you not coming back?”
“Not for a bit,” I replied. Suddenly I felt all the tension escape my body as Ava exited the elevator quickly, almost running to her desk.
I had not expected the relief I would feel seeing her walk in, and that was a concern all in itself. Something that, once again, I was not certain I should be looking into. It would be opening a pandora's box in the middle of a situation that was already messy.
I only waited for her to remove her jacket before pressing the button, summoning her in my office.
“You’re late,” I barked as soon as she walked in.
She gave Ben a rapid smile and it irritated me. She had no business smiling at him and he certainly had no business looking at her the way he was, giving her the type of grin he usually kept for the girls he intended to bang. We had a strict no fraternization policy and he knew it.
“Twelve minutes!” I added coldly, reclaiming her attention.
She bowed her head. “I’m truly sorry, sir. Please, feel free to deduct them from the ten hours of overtime I have already done this week.”
Ben lowered his head, trying to hide his smile at her snark.
I narrowed my eyes at her. “Maybe you would like to take your attitude to HR and then the unemployment office.”
“I trust your judgment, sir.” She bowed her head again. “If you think it is for the best, please let me know and I’ll make my way to HR immediately.”
I pursed my lips. She wanted me to fire her. It would get her off the hook.