“London is busy and expensive—”
“I’m not staying in London.” It had been a heartbreaking decision to make. I loved the city, but I refused to take any of Hugo’s money knowing the consequences and that the power it would give him over us would be too great. The man was a sadist and I knew he would enjoy dangling the carrot and the money in front of me to make me do whatever he wished.
As for Ethan, I knew he would give me anything I wanted, but this child was not his responsibility, regardless of all the unnecessary guilt he placed on himself. He had nothing to do with my involvement with his older brother and the heathen asshole the man was. It had been my mistake, not his.
“You’re not—” He shook his head, pushing his takeaway box away. It may have been the first time Ethan didn’t finish his food. “You’re not staying here?”
I sighed, pushing my container away too. My stomach was playing tricks now that the baby was growing inside me.
“It’s best if I go back home. Mom is retiring at the end of this year, so she’ll be able to help with the baby, and you know staying here with Hugo and your parents close by would be hard. It’s actually the best solution for everyone. You can tell your parents I left you for… Oh, I don’t know, some random man and I ran away with him. You can probably fake a broken heart for at least the next five years and avoid any questions about your single status.
“I won't have to fake that broken heart. I’ll be losing my best friend.” He looked up, blinking away tears, and that broke me more than I thought it would. I’d never seen Ethan cry before.
“Ethan,” I whispered, my own eyes filling up with tears.
“He always had everything, and I never really cared.” He shrugged. “No, I’m lying. It hurt a lot when I was younger, when I didn’t understand why I was not good enough to be his brother or the son my dad showed around.” He cleared his throat. “Why I was not good enough to get anything important from the family legacy, but I thought that was all he could take from me. I was wrong. Now he’s taking you.”
The emotion I felt choked me up. I loved Ethan deeply. He was as close as a brother to me, and causing him any pain, even against my will, was agonizing.
I stood up from my seat and went to him, bending down to give him a hug.
“You’ll never lose me.” I kissed his cheek. “I’ll only be a few hours away and if you want—” I stopped talking for a few seconds.
He threw me a curious look. “What? If I want what?” he insisted, wrapping his arms around my waist.
I shrugged. “You know, if you want,” I sighed.Just spit it out, Ava. “We need Podiatric Surgeons up north, too.”
He opened his mouth and closed it again.
“It was stupid, forget I said it.”
He tightened his hold on me when I tried to walk away.
“You wouldn’t mind? Having me around all the time?”
The tension escaped my body as I ran my fingers through his hair. Didn’t he know how much he mattered to me? It made me hate his parents just a little more.
“Of course not, I’d love to have you around all the time! My parents know we’re friends and they know you’re gay, so there are no misconceptions when it comes to our relationship. We could even move in together if you wanted to, but you'd be the one stuck with a crying newborn and an emotional new mom.” I let out a little laugh. “You’d be the one regretting the move.”
“I kind of like the idea, you know?” He let go of his hold on me. “I really do,” he added barely louder than a whisper as he pulled his container back to him and resumed eating in silence, obviously thinking about what I’d just told him.
My stomach twisted suddenly and I made myself a peppermint tea while Ethan finished both his food and mine. That was my Ethan, the human garbage can.
I yawned and looked at the clock. God, it was barely 9! This baby was really taking a toll on me.
Ethan threw me a worried look before shaking his head as he stood up to clear the table and put all the garbage away.
“I still think you should let me talk to him. I don’t mind bargaining if it’s for you,” he insisted as I walked him to the door.
But I do.I shook my head. “Honestly, his dickishness can only go so far, and I know and have worked with men like him. He will give up eventually.”
Ethan's mouth twisted in doubt. “Of all the men in London…” He shook his head. “I’m sorry, Ava, really. I should have told you about my brother.”
Here it was again, the misplaced guilt.
“It’s not on you, trust me.” I blushed furiously at the mention of that night. “I’m in this situation because of all the bad decisions Hugo and I made that night.”
Ethan tipped his mouth down in slight disgust. “I’m still traumatized when I think I’ve unknowingly fantasized about my own brother for—” He made a gagging sound, making me laugh.