“The St-Johns need heirs and any kid of yours would be utter perfection.” He cleared his throat. “Listen, I can’t really have kids for obvious reasons—”
“You like cock,” I offered crudely. It was not that I had any problem with his sexuality. I was not as uptight as our father, and I couldn’t care less that my brother was gay. Live and let live was my motto, but I hated that he'd lied, cheated, and how he'd made me envy him, even if it was only for a few weeks. I hated how he drove me mad wanting something he didn’t even have, but what I hated above all else was how much she clearly loved him, how much she trusted him, and it didn’t matter how petty it made me, I wanted to hurt him for it.
He threw me an exasperated look. “No, I don'tlikecock. Ilovecock,” he replied, not taken aback one minute by my comment.
Well played, little brother.
He gripped Ava’s shoulders. “Ava, listen lovey, it’s perfect. This one will never have kids.” He jerked his head sideways in my direction. “He told our father many times that he was not a family man and didn’t want a wife or kids. It’s the only thing that Golden Boy here ever did that didn’t meet our father’s expectations.”
She sighed with a little shake of her head.
“We can get married and we’ll have this baby and—”
“No,” I interrupted, now standing up. It was becoming more and more of a nightmare. Just the thought of these two pretending to be a happy little family with what’s mine?Never!I looked at Ava and almost fell for her renewed air of innocence again. “Is that what you wanted? A child with a random man so that you could secure a marriage of convenience with this desperate idiot, someone so eager to be loved by Daddy that he would do everything to put you out of any financial concerns for the rest of your life?”
She stiffened but shook her head a little before turning toward Ethan with a small, sad smile on her face.
“Ethan, sweetheart, no.” She reached out and cupped his cheek. “You know I love you, I do, and I’ll do a lot for you, but I can’t marry you—no matter who my baby’s father is,” she added quickly. “I could never do that to my parents, you know them. You know I can’t.”
What did her parents have to do with that?
Ethan sighed and leaned into her touch. “I know, I just—” He shook his head.
I wasn’t sure why it irritated me so much to see them like that. It had nothing to do with her and she was the one to blame; she was supposed to have been on the pill.
“You just acted without thinking, as usual,” I let out with exasperation.
His eyes hardened as he turned to scowl at me. “That’s quite ironic coming from you. If you'd wrapped it up, we wouldn’t be in this situation.”
I arched an eyebrow. “You,nothing.” I pointed at Ava and me. “It’sourproblem and she was a willing participant in all of this,” I added defensively.
“She’s not like that. Ava—she didn’t think! She'd never had casual sex with random strangers before,” he added, his cheeks reddened with anger. Who knew…my brother had balls after all.
She rested a soothing hand on his shoulder. “Ethan—”
“Oh, now she’s Saint Ava?” I pointed an accusing finger toward her. “Tell you what, she wasn’t that much of a saint when she was on her knees sucking my cock like it was her favorite candy bar.”
She gasped, and I immediately regretted my words. I was not the kind of man to kiss and tell, and that had been beneath me; I knew it, but I was much too proud to recognize it or apologize for it.
She stood up briskly, arranging her handbag on her shoulder. “I think I’ve heard enough. It’s my body but don’t worry, whatever I decide won’t impact your life in any way.” She turned to Ethan. “I’ll call you later.” She then twirled around and exited the office, giving me a glimpse of her shapely ass in those jeans. My brother really didn’t know what he was missing here.
Chapter 8
Ava
Ihuffed,wipingatmy forehead as a strand of hair kept falling in front of my eyes.
I concentrated on scrubbing my sink again. It was already spotless; my whole tiny flat was, but when I was stressed, I cleaned and organized. My mother had always said that our house had been immaculate during exam season, and she hadn’t been wrong.
Things were really not going anywhere near what I had planned. I was terrified of being pregnant and single, terrified to see how my parents were going to react. They would love that baby, of that much I was sure, but I also knew it wasn’t what they would have wished for me right now. I was terrified of having to face this alone. I couldn’t imagine having this baby here in London. I barely got by now and it was not a life I would imagine this baby having. I would also not let Ethan take the responsibility for this child. It was not his cross to bear.
I sighed and walked to the small window, looking out to the Thames that was gently lit with streetlights. I was going to miss it here, but I had to be responsible, and unless I figured something out that would not destroy Ethan’s life in the process, I would have to go back to Yorkshire and move back home.
I shook my head. After breaking up with Damian, I promised to put myself first, enjoy myself, and be the twenty-five-year-old I was supposed to be. I had tried and somehow succeeded, giving myself to that stunning stranger I hardly believed wanted me. I’d completely surrendered to his touch and I’d never wanted it to end. Being there in that room, letting my desire speak, not thinking of how he would see me or what people would think had been so freeing. It had allowed me to get the best orgasms of my life. Well, that and Hugo’s magical penis.
I frowned. It was not okay to think about Hugo’s dick anymore, not after he talked to me the way he did when I was at his father’s party and he hadn’t treated me much better in Ethan’s office after he knew I was not dating Ethan. He dared to slut-shame me for the time we spent together and that was unforgivable.
But his cock though…