I snorted. “Hardly! Ava is the best choice I ever made. I only wish I’d realized it earlier.”
I turned on the kitchen lights and gestured to the wooden table in the middle of the room. “Tea?”
Declan nodded, taking a seat.
“It’s just that the baby is kicking a lot these days, which makes her quite restless in her sleep, but I don’t want her to feel guilty and I don’t want to sleep in another room. So, on restless nights, I just go away for a little while and go back to bed after dawn, because for some reason, daylight puts our boy to sleep.”
“It’s eerie how similar Leila's pregnancy was. I think it will calm down soon.”
We remained silent as I prepared the tea, but even if I was not looking at him, I could feel his speculating eyes on me.
“What thoughts kept you up?” I asked, setting the cup in front of him.
“You.”
I expected that much and yet it still stung. “Me?”
“Do you think you’re good enough for my daughter?”
“No, I’m not, but I’m working very hard to become that man.”
“I love Ethan.”
Okay, that stung even more. “Who doesn’t?” I replied, not being able to conceal some of the bite in my voice as he raised an eyebrow. “You do know that Ethan and Ava… That never happened.”
“Of course I do! The man never hid who he liked.”
From you, at least.I pursed my lips, waiting for him to continue as he took a sip of his tea.
“The thing is, Ethan has always been an open book. There wasn’t much I didn’t know about him.” He let out a little laugh, leaning back on his chair. “I would even say sometimes he sharedtoomuch. And yet, in all these years, he never mentioned you, not once.” He shrugged. “It raises plenty of concerns.”
“And why would you be concerned about me and not him?”
Declan gave me a half smile. “As I said, I know and love Ethan. I don’t know you.” He sighed. “And I do not have the same propensity as my wife and daughter for infinite forgiveness. I saw it when she came home. She had a broken heart and I’m sure you broke it.”
“More than once,” I admitted, still feeling the shame and guilt of this immutable truth. “I’m not trying to find an excuse because truthfully, I have none. I’m just trying to explain. Ava grew up surrounded with love and attention. This was not mine or Ethan’s upbringing, but where he decided to break the cycle, I thrived in it. I can only hold my hands up and admit that I am the one to blame for the failed relationship with my brother and for Ava’s multiple heartbreaks but I—” I shook my head. “It’s when I came a breath away from losing her forever that I realized what I’d been fighting so hard—because I was in love with her. I do not believe in love at first sight, it is a ludicrous concept, and yet I’m sure that part of me fell in love with her the moment I saw her.”
Declan nodded silently.
“All I’m trying to say is that I’m probably guilty of all the harm you are assuming I’ve caused, and probably even a lot more, but I’m trying. I am working to become the man Ava and our son deserve and I’m even trying to mend a relationship that I don’t think can be fixed.”
“It takes a real man to admit to his faults. And I can see you love my daughter. It is written all over your face. As for your brother, trust me—siblings have a capacity to forgive what most people can’t comprehend.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“I am. All I’m asking is that you don’t break my Ava’s heart again. She’s strong but—”
“I know and I won’t. I have the ring and have had it for a while.” Why I admitted that to the man was beyond me.
“What are you waiting for?”
“I’m scared to go too fast, for her to realize she doesn’t want that and maybe see how much better than me she is.”
“That she is, but my Ava has never done anything she didn’t want. She walked away from people before and she loves you. Ask her to marry you, have a life, have children. Show your father that you too can break the cycle, and I can tell you something—nothing will piss him off more than seeing you happy.”
“She’s making me happy,” I agreed. “To the point of fear.”
“I can understand that, son, but it’s this fear that makes it worthwhile.”