“This.” I thrust my cell in his face, and he is forced to seize my wrist and hold it still so the screen stops shaking long enough for him to see the image. “Tired of dealing with the shit you’re creating?” I ask. “Not getting enough out of this relationship anymore so moving back to old habits?”
His jaw rolls. It’s a fucking insult. “Stand down, Beau,” he orders in a deadly tone I should probably pay attention to. And yet I don’t. My rage is ruling me. My body trembling, a red mist fogging my vision. I feel like control is slipping away rapidly. I need to let go of this pressure. I need to explode.
“I will not fucking stand down!” I yell. “How fucking dare you?Youstand down!” I shove him out of my way and march to the bar, not ordering a drink, but swiping up a glass of red that’s already there, not bothering to check whose it is or if they mind. I’m pretty sure they won’t challenge me.
I down it, praying the liquid cools my temper, and gasp, slamming it back on the bar and motioning for another. I can feel many eyes on me, but the music still plays—Swedish House MafiaOne (Your Name)right now—and the dancers still dance. I order a second wine before turning around and leaning against the bar, raking a hand through my hair to pull the loose strands off my hot face. I see Danny pull Rose away. I see her grave face. I see Fury looking torn between attempting to remove me from what’s fueling me—James—or leaving me to... detonate.
I cast my eyes across them all again. The music seems to get louder by the second, like it’s building to a crescendo along with my temper. Then I look at James. I look at him with all the contempt I feel on a curled lip. I just want to lash out. Hit things. Be rid of this unbridled anger. Release the pressure.
Standing there, his stance wide, his fists balled by his thighs, his jaw ticking, he looks like a deadly mix of power and control. I hate both on him in this moment when I’m straining not to lose my shit. I drink down my second wine and blindly push the glass on the bar behind me.Hurt him. Hurt him. Hurt him.My eyes glued to his, I walk to him, lifting my chin, my whole body rolling with the effort to breathe. I see the veins in his throat pulse. His Adam’s apple sinks and protrudes. His lips twitch. The hollows of his cheeks pulse under his stubble. I find his blue eyes. Eyes that are flames right now. “We’re done,” I say emotionlessly, backing away.
“We’re never done, Beau.” He speaks calmly but looks anything but, his powerful, muscled frame shaking from the strain of keeping his cool.
I turn and walk away.
“We’re never done, Beau Hayley!” he roars. “Broken, fixed, happy, sad, we’re never fucking done!”
I turn calmly and come nose to chest with Fury. “I’m not his anymore, so you do not need to tail me.” I look up at him and get a hint of his mood. Furious. “Back off,” I order, but he says nothing, just moves aside, not because he’s backing off, but because he’s giving James access to me. “No,” I yell, my hands coming up and blocking James from seizing me. “Keep your fucking hands off me.” I turn to leave again, or I try to, but an arm snakes around my waist and lifts me from the floor. “Get off me,” I scream, my arms and legs flailing, throwing my head back, but he anticipates my move—the only move I have in this position—and gets his nose out of the way of my thrashing head.
“Stand fucking down,” he bellows, fighting to hold down my flailing arms. He carries me out of the club, and the looks coming at us are, expectedly, shocked.
I kick, I scream, I fight his hold with everything I have, my anger driving me. I can’t stop. I need this pressure to leave me. I need to be exhausted. But no matter how much I fight, I can still breathe easy.
I need to stop breathing easy.
Stop breathing altogether.
I’m carried across the road, and I hear the sound of brakes screeching, driver’s yelling for us to get out of their way. I think a missile could hit James now and he wouldn’t budge an inch. He stalks down an alleyway to where his car is parked and the headlights blink, the doors opening. He isnotputting me in that car. “I said we are done,” I yell.
“Shut the fuck up, Beau.”
I am out of my fucking mind. Untamable. Uninhibited. And as if to prove it, I twist my arm and reach behind James’s back, pulling his gun from the waistband of his jeans, disengaging the safety. He stops just shy of his car, his body still but his chest pulsing wildly into my back. I turn the gun around and point it at both of us. “Put me down,” I say calmly, and he does because he knows. He knows I am fucking crazy, and he’s sent me further that way.
I turn the gun around in my hand and face him, and I look straight into his eyes. “We are done,” I assure him. He shakes his head, his expression incensed. “Yes,” I counter.
“No.” He moves fast, reaching for his back and before I can blink, I have a gun aimed at me. “As long as I live and breathe, Beau Hayley, we will never be done.”
“Then I guess you won’t be breathing for very long.”
“You’re the one who doesn’t want to marry me, so stop being all insecure. It doesn’t suit you.”
My free hand lashes out of its own volition, cracking him around the face, and my palm bursts into flames, his head snapping to the side where he holds it, his lip curling. “Been taking pointers from your best friend?” he hisses.
“Fuck you.”
“Wouldn’t that be nice?”
The pressure in my head bursts, and I scream like an unhinged mad woman, squeezing the trigger. I jolt, flying around and slamming into something. The back of my head collides with a wall, the rough bricks pulling at my dress. The gun is gone from my hand, and James is armed with both. He heaves and pants in front of me, and then he roars to the black sky and fires both guns, one after the other, over and over, the sound of bullets leaving the chamber piercing, echoing off the bricks of the dank alley.
Then... quiet.
Except for the last shell casing hitting the ground with a pretty ping.
“Would I like to let off some steam?” he asks, breathless. “Yes, fuck, I need that.” He comes closer and breathes down on me. “Will I take it elsewhere? No.” I hear the sound of the two guns hitting the concrete, then his hands are in my hair fisting it harshly. “I know only your pussy now, Beau.”
“This pussy doesn’t want you.”
“Taste only your lips. Ram my cock only into your cunt. Suck only your nipples.” He dips and licks the shell of my ear. “I will only ever restrainyou. Fuckyourarse.” Pulling away, he looks at me with wide, wild eyes, his hold of my hair unmoving. “My mind knows only you. My body knows only yours.” Slamming his mouth onto mine, he kisses me brutally, forcing me up onto my tiptoes. “My damn fucking black heart can only ever love you, Beau Hayley, so get your fucking head on straight and show me that all this anger and stress is worth it, because if you really mean it when you say we’re done, I’ll slip back into the shadows and pick up my life where I left off the day you walked into my apartment and watched me fuck that woman.”