“Yes, I’d realized,” she admitted in a low voice.
“You weren’t going to say anything or do anything about it?”
Her hands tightened on the steering wheel until the knuckles were white, and she concentrated on the traffic. “No.”
Just that one, calmly uttered word had the power to jerk his head up, and she felt his gaze burning on her. “I don’t want to get you pregnant. I can’t stay, Rachel. You’d be alone, with a baby to raise.”
She braked for a red light and turned her head to meet his gaze. “It would be worth it, to have your baby.”
His jaw tightened, and he swore under his breath. Damn, he was hard again just at the thought of getting her pregnant, of her bearing his child and nursing it at her pretty breasts. He wanted to. He wanted to take her with him and go home to her every night, but he couldn’t turn his back on his job and his country. Security was critical, now more than ever, and his services were invaluable. It was something he had to do; endangering Rachel was something he couldn’t do.
Her gray eyes were dark with mingled love and pain. “I won’t make it easy for you to leave me,” she whispered. “I won’t hide what I feel and wave you off with a smile.”
His profile was hard and unreadable as he turned back to watch the road; he didn’t answer, and when the light changed to green again she drove carefully to the nearest drugstore. Without speaking, she took a twenty from her purse and handed it to him.
His hand clenched on the crisp bill, and he looked like murder. “It’s either this or abstinence.”
She drew a deep breath. “Then I suppose you’d better go in, hadn’t you?”
No, she wasn’t making it any easier; she was making it so difficult that it was tearing him apart. Damn it, he’d give her a baby every year if things were different, he thought savagely as he went into the drugstore and made his purchase. Maybe he was too late; maybe she was already pregnant. Only the naive or the careless could discount the possibility.
He left the cash register and had started for the door, when Rachel came through it, her face strained, her eyes wide and urgent. Without hesitation he turned and walked several aisles over to intently examine a high stack of insulated beverage coolers. Rachel walked past, to the cosmetic department. Sabin waited, and a moment later the door opened again. He caught a glimpse of sandy hair and ducked his own head down, automatically reaching behind his back for the pistol, but his waistband was empty. The pistol was in the car. His eyes narrowed, and a cold, deadly look settled over his features; moving silently, he began trailing Ellis.
Rachel had seen the blue Ford driving down the street and had known immediately that it was Ellis; her only thought had been to warn Kell before he walked out of the drugstore and let Ellis see him. If Ellis had been following them it was already too late, but she was fairly certain that wasn’t the case. This was just an unhappy coincidence; it had to be. Sh
e had pretended not to see him, getting out of the car and walking into the drugstore as if she’d just driven up herself. She had heard a car door close behind her just as she went inside, and she knew Ellis would be there in a few seconds. Kell had taken one look at her face and detoured; now all she had to do was get rid of Ellis, even if she had to get back in the car and drive away without Kell. She could circle back to pick him up.
“I thought it was you. Didn’t you hear me call?” Ellis asked behind her as she surveyed the array of lipsticks.
She jerked around, pretending that he’d startled her. “Tod! You scared me!” she gasped, holding a hand to her chest.
“Sorry. I thought you knew I was behind you.”
He seemed to be thinking a lot this morning; she hoped it didn’t strain him too much. She gave him an abstracted smile. “I’ve got so much on my mind I’m just walking around in a daze. I’m trying to get everything together for my trip, but I left my shopping list at home, and it’s driving me crazy trying to remember everything.”
He looked at the display, his easy grin flashing. “I guess lipstick is essential.”
“No, but lip balm is, and I thought it would be here.” Condescending mongrel! She wondered how he’d look if she told him to shove off. The problem with someone with an enormous ego was that any slight sent them around the bend, hell-bent on revenge. Still, she couldn’t keep the tartness out of her voice, and he looked at her in surprise.
“Is something wrong?”
“I’ve got a vicious headache,” she muttered. She caught sight of Kell, moving just behind Ellis; his face was set, his eyes narrowed and cold, and he moved like a stalking panther. What was he doing? He was supposed to stay out of sight until she got rid of Ellis, not attack the man! All the color drained from her face as Ellis peered at her.
“You do look sick,” he finally admitted.
“I think it was too much wine last night.” She turned on her heel and marched down the aisle, away from Kell. Damn the man! If he wanted to jump Ellis, he’d have to chase him down to do it! She didn’t stop until she got to the insect repellent section; she grabbed a bottle and scowled as she read the directions on the back.
Ellis was still right behind her. “Do you think you’d feel like going out tonight?”
Rachel ground her teeth in frustration. She couldn’t believe he was that thick-skinned. It was an effort to take a deep breath and answer calmly. “I don’t think so, Tod, but thanks for asking. I really feel rotten.”
“Sure, I understand. I’ll call you in a day or so.”
From somewhere she dredged up enough control for a wan smile. “Yes, do that. Maybe I’ll feel better then, unless this is some sort of virus.”
Like most people, he backed off a little at the mention of anything contagious. “I’ll let you get back to your shopping, but you really should go home and take it easy.”
“That’s good advice. I just might do that.” Would he never leave?