I manage to nod, though I’m sweating. Just thinking about it brings back a host of ugly memories. Of being taken by hideous aliens only to be handed off to an even more hideous alien, one that looked like a giant, mutated caterpillar and spoke a high-pitched, buzzing language that made my ears hurt. One that insisted I touch him and pleasure him…every single segment.
And I did what I had to do to survive.
“I’m gonna puke,” I whisper.
Instead of handing me a barf bucket, Nassakth crushes me against his chest. My face is suddenly filled with soft gray fur and underneath that, a hard, warm body. His big hand strokes my hair and he holds me close. “My poor Kim. I understand.” He keeps petting my head. “My owner was an ooli, and I suffer a similar problem when I see amphibians. Their skin makes me very angry. Very.” He rubs my back and squeezes me tight. “You are safe with me. I will never let anything or anyone harm you ever again.”
There’s such confidence in his voice that I believe him. And for some reason, my urge to puke is going away. It’s like him holding me is making all that awful tension relax, and my mouth stops watering and the urge to vomit dissipates. Instead, I relax against him and let him hold me close. It’s…nice. When was the last time I wanted to be touched? It’s been far, far too long. Yet since I’ve met Nassakth, he’s licked my hand, and petted my hair, and squeezed me against him. Praxiians are a touchy-feely race, I’m learning, and…I don’t hate it.
It’s kinda nice.
“I will get rid of my plants,” Nassakth says as I remain cuddled against his chest, breathing deep. “It was an interloper that found his way inside, but I will fix the problem and get rid of—”
“No,” I interrupt, petting his chest fur. He’s kind of like a lion from shoulders to mid-chest, all thick ruff. I twine my fingers in it, fascinated at how soft and thick it is. “You don’t have to do that. You love your plants.”
“But you are my mate. I will do anything for you.”
Which is sweet. “I would feel worse if you got rid of the things that bring you joy.”
“I have a new thing in my home that brings me joy.” And he strokes my hair again.
I smile against his chest fur. Twenty-four hours in and I’m wondering how I was ever terrified of this big cat. “Don’t get rid of your plants for me, okay? Just…maybe don’t show me the bugs.”
“No bugs,” he agrees firmly. “Never again.”
We sit in silence a moment longer, Nassakth petting me as I relax against him. “I’m sorry for my overreaction,” I say. I’m so embarrassed. Here I am trying to be a strong badass and I faint at the sight of a bug.
“You have nothing to apologize over. Who better to understand how you feel than a former slave?” He pats my back, his big hand thumping against my spine. “I understand far too well.”
I imagine he does. Funny how I never thought I’d have something in common with a praxiian, and now I’m wondering if we’re more alike than I ever thought.
20
KIM
He carries me back upstairs, even though I protest that I can walk on my own. Nassakth just won’t let me. The big cat alien sets me down gently in the bedroom and tells me to wait there while he takes care of the “problem.” I curl up on the bed, listening to him go outside, and when he returns, there is a grimly determined look on his face.
“Our visitor will not bother you any longer.”
I manage a smile at that. “Our visitor.” “Thank you. I know it’s silly—”
“It is not. You are allowed to feel however you feel. I will not judge such things.” His beautiful tail swishes. “Are you hungry? Or do you wish to go back to bed?”
I think of a million things I could be doing right now. I’ve got to check messages on my datapad, and write the next few chapters of my book. Everyone’s probably wondering where the hell I went because I haven’t posted in days. I need to contact my buyers for the noli flowers, and prepare to ship them soon, and then there’s the problem of my house, and learning this house, and and and…
It all makes me tired. When did my simple, too-quiet life get so busy? “I guess I could eat.”
Nassakth brightens. “Come, then.”
He helps me get up from bed, as if I’m the most fragile thing ever, and then keeps an arm around my waist, hovering over me as he leads me through the house and back to the kitchen area. The table is set with waiting glasses and a bottle of wine and a pretty, crawling-vine plant that has been artfully arranged at the far end of the table so we’ll have to sit together. My companion makes a growly noise in his throat at the sight of the plant and bounds over to the table to get rid of it. “I…forgot. Did this earlier. My apologies.”