But I’m blind to all that beauty, my thoughts consumed by my mother’s revelations. When I think I’ve experienced the worst, another knife slices my heart. I don’t want to go back inside the house. Maybe I can stay here until the sun chases the moon from the sky, taking my worries with it.
“She saidwhat?”Dani demands the following morning when we meet for breakfast in the local café in town. “I’m sorry, Cass, I know she’s your mother, but she’s a fucking cow!”
Since kindergarten, Dani and I have been friends and kept in touch when I moved to Denver with my father. When I returned, we picked up our friendship as if we’d never been apart. Having her in my life is one of the few things that keeps me going.
“I shouldn’t be surprised, not really. She’s never tried to hide her dislike of me,” I say, glancing across the table at Dani with a grimace. “I’ve tried my best, but it’s never been enough.”
“I don’t think it’s you she hates so much as herself,” Dani says intuitively. “The sooner you get out of there, the better. Like I’ve told you a hundred times, there’s always a place for you at the ranch.”
“Yeah, right,” I snort. “Asher would love having me under his roof.”
It’s a source of constant sadness because Asher and I were close before I left for Denver. The ranch was like my second home when I was growing up, and many of my happiest memories are of the long summers I spent with him and Dani.
Nowadays, he doesn’t even look at me and barely speaks to me. It’s as if I’ve become invisible. Apart from that afternoon in his office at the ranch a few years after my return to Silver Springs. I’d just turned eighteen, and the memory of that encounter still makes my nipples tighten and the pulse between my legs surge to life.
“Asher is a fool. He can’t see what’s right in front of his nose,” Dani huffs. You need to move on. Stop wearing your heart out on my brother and go on a date."
I shake my head firmly. “Not interested.”
Dani’s gaze is on me, but she doesn’t say anything.
I’ve been in love with Asher Stanton for as long as I can remember. I’ve been watching him from a distance my whole life. He’s gorgeous, with his dirty blond hair, golden-brown eyes, and muscular body. He has a presence, a way of carrying himself, that commands people's attention.
I’ve lost count of the daydreams I’ve spun around him, where we fall into bed, make babies together, and live happily ever after.The whole baby-making part usually fades to black in my mind, having had no experience in this department aside from a few less-than-satisfying kisses in high school.
He's a loner despite his massive wealth—courtesy of wise investments and his sought-after purebred cattle. He doesn't chase the lifestyle that others with his kind of money do. He'd much rather be at home working on his ranch in faded jeans and a t-shirt than wearing a designer suit at some glitzy social function. In my opinion, he looks equally hot in either.
I take a sip of my coffee. “So, have you got your outfit organized for the charity ball next weekend?” I ask Dani.
“Yep. Nice little strapless number. Gonna show Inola what he’s missing," she says with a wicked grin.
“Is Officer Inola still driving you crazy?" I ask, giving my friend a knowing smile.
Dani works as a clerk at Silver Springs Police Department, and being around Officer Inola all day is driving her crazy. She certainly doesn’t have to work, but she’s adamant she wants a career and isn’t content to live off her inheritance.
Dani flushes and shifts uneasily in her chair. “He told meI was too young to make googly eyes at him and not to do it anymore. Didn't even realize Iwasmaking googly eyes at him. I mean, there’s no denying he’s hot… and dangerous. And did I say hot? Most women look at him like they want to eat him. Maybe my money intimidates him." She sighs.
I frown. "I don’t think Inola is like that. He’s a whole lot of man, I’ll give you that. He’s street-wise, and you’ve been sheltered,” I point out.
“Thanks to my brother, who still thinks I’m five years old,” Dani mutters. She takes a long breath, summoning a smile as she looks at me. "So, what about you? Are you going to the ball, Cinderella?”
I laugh at the comparison. “Can’t. I’m on call at the surgery that night. You’ll have to vamp it up for both of us.”
“Ugh. Sucks you have to work,” Dani says with a grimace.
“It’s not so bad. I love my job,” I say, nibbling at my croissant. The only person I want to go to the ball with seems to hate me these days.
Dani frowns. “Cass, you’re barely twenty-one. You're too young to waste your life working and pining over a man.”
"You can’t help who you love,” I say, giving her a meaningful look. I know her feelings for Officer Inola go deeper than mere infatuation.
“He’s scared, Cass,” she says softly. “Our mother was twelve years younger than our father, the same as the age difference between you and him. Seeing our mother run off with a younger man pretty much killed our father. I was too young to remember, but if you ask me, she can’t have loved him in the first place. Asher’s always blamed it on the difference in their ages. He says they were from different generations and should never have married in the first place."
Hearing her talk about it always makes me feel bad for them both. “Do you ever hear from her?”
“Occasionally. We get a birthday and Christmas card and the odd phone call, but—" she shrugs, “—she lives in Virginia now, married the guy she left our father for."
“I’ll never understand how a mother can leave her children. Why have kids if you don't intend to love them with everything you have?" I muse sadly.
“I hear ya. I guess not everyone is made for parenthood. Mom leaving made Asher bitter. I was only five at the time, so I don’t remember much, but he was seventeen. It hasn't left him with a high opinion of women.”
“I can understand why," I sigh, smiling and murmuring my thanks to the waitress as she comes over to refill our coffee.
“I wish he’d see that not all relationships end up like your parents," she says wryly. "Have you heard from your father?"
"No, and I don’t expect to. He’s never been great at keeping in touch, but it’s been years since I last heard from him. It’s for the best. He's as self-absorbed as my mother. You know what their relationship was like. Fiery at the best of times. They were either all over each other or at each other's throats. There was no middle ground. It’s bad enough living on the roller coaster of my mother’s mood swings without throwing any other complications into the mix."
Dani takes a huge bite of her donut. “Men, huh?” she asks through a mouthful of sugary dough. “They’re all a pain in the ass.”