“Ahh. That makes sense. Is the man who fathered your first child your ex-husband? Did he father your other two children as well?”
“Yes, he’s my ex-husband and he’s the father of my other two children. They’re twins. One of them is getting married in a few weeks, and the other is engaged and is getting married in a few months. My oldest son has been married for a few years already.”
“Wow. Lots of big stuff in store for you.”
“Yes. It’s very exciting.”
“How are things with your ex? Was your divorce messy?”
I shake my head. “Nope. Not at all. We didn’t even bother with lawyers. We both started with nothing, and we ended with plenty, so we split that plenty right down the middle. It was all very civilized. Obviously, because of our children, we’re in each other’s lives. It’s all pretty easy and amicable. He’s blissfully remarried now to a woman who’s a much better fit for him than I was. She’s been nothing but nice to me and includes me in everything they do as a big family. She’s good to my boys and my grandkids, so as long as that continues, she and I are completely fine.”
“Wow. The full modern family.”
I shrug. “I suppose so. What about your daughter and her mother?”
“I’ve never been married. I was a pretty messed up, lost soul for most of my life. I battled a lot of demons.” He looks down for a moment as if in contemplation. “I was…I am…a drug addict.”
I’m completely shocked. I didn’t expect that. “Are you clean?”
He nods. “Yes, I’ve been clean for ten years, but you lose a lot when you’re as fucked up as I was for as long as was. I have no communication with my family. I wasn’t there for my daughter for the first seven years of her life. I can never get that time back. It’s among the biggest items on the large list of regrets I have. I have no custody rights, but since I’ve been clean, her mother has been pretty generous about letting me spend time with her.”
“What’s her name?”
“Jade. She’s everything I wasn’t. Strong, confident, motivated. Her mother did a great job with her.”
I rub his arm with my fingertips. “What happened that you got so lost?”
“I had severely overachieving older siblings. They had a different father than me. Our mother got remarried to my father, and they had me. I think he preferred my brother and sister to me. At least that’s how I saw it at the time. As a teenager, I tried a few drugs to numb my pain, and before I knew what was happening, I was an addict. My family tried for years to help me, but you can’t help someone who won’t help themselves. I take all of the blame.”
“What about alcohol? Do you abuse that as well?” I saw him drinking at the bar.
He smiles, knowing what I’m thinking. “I didn’t fall off the wagon tonight, if that’s what you’re thinking. No, for whatever reason, I’ve never had alcohol abuse issues. I don’t over-indulge, but I can have a few drinks and it’s not a problem for me.”
“Glad to hear it.”
“Part of my recovery is honesty. When you’re in the throes of addiction, you’ll say and do anything to secure your next high. I won’t ever be that person again. I’m a completely straightforward person now. Sometimes to a fault, but it’s how I need to be. You’ll never get anything but the truth out of me. Both the good and the bad.”
I smile. “So I’ve noticed. You’re one of the most straightforward,assertivemen I’ve ever met.”
He quickly pulls me into his arms and pushes us against the brick wall of the nearby building. He presses his entire body to mine. He’s so damn aggressive.
“Enough about me and my former drama. Tell me something about you. Something other people don’t know.”
I smile. “I speak five languages.”
He shakes his head. “No good. That’s actually pretty cool, but I want something deeply personal. Something people don’t know about you. I want to know the real Melissa Knight. Not the divorcee. Not the mom. Not the grandmother. And not just the sexy woman the rest of the world sees on the outside.”
He touches me in such a familiar way. It doesn’t feel like we met an hour ago. It’s like we’ve known each other so much longer. I’ve never had such an instant connection with a man. I’ve never before wanted to tear a man’s clothes off within an hour of meeting him. More so, I want him to tear off mine.
I think for a moment. I look up at him. Our faces are only inches apart. “I’m pretty sure I’ve never been in love.”
He looks down at me as he tucks my hair behind my ear. “Not even your ex-husband?”
I shake my head. “No. We got married because I was pregnant, not because we were in love. We did have some amount of love for each other, but it wasn’t storybook love. It was more about mutual admiration and respect.”
“That’s what you want? Storybook love?”
Our lips are nearly touching. I nod my head. “I’m not sure I fully believed it existed until I saw him with his new wife. They have storybook love. All three of my sons have it too. So does my best friend.” I softly breathe out, “I’m the odd woman out.”