“Bianca Moreno, uh, neighbor to both those guys. It’s lovely to meet you.” Since Gloria’s hands are occupied with clutching on to her crutches for dear life, she doesn’t put out her hand for a shake. It hasn’t escaped my notice that she hasn’t spared me a glance this entire time and it’s starting to make me feel anxious.
“It appears we’re in a bit of a pickle, Bianca. Carson is supposed to work tonight and I usually watch Oliver, but I dislocated my knee earlier today and I’m afraid I won’t be able to do it today.”
“Oh no, what happened?” She asks.
Before I have a chance to stop Gloria or just flat out lie, she’s already answering. “A bit of a misadventure with a sexual escapade. You know how that Kama Sutra book can be.” She lets out atskand shakes her head.
Bianca’s eyes widen so much I’m expecting her to hoot like an owl right before she bursts out laughing. “Of course. I’ve only ever tried a few but the difficulty level can be up there. I’m glad your knee was the only casualty.” My mind immediately latches on to Bianca working her way through the Kama Sutra, and I start to get that feeling of irrational jealousy again. It doesn’t stop until I picture us wrapped around each other in one of those poses.
“Oh good, you’re not stuck up. I like her, Carson,” she says to me in a stage whisper that Bianca can absolutely hear. I’m starting to get a headache as they both go back to ignoring me.“I’ll let you borrow my book dear. I’ve gone through and made several notations in the margins. There are quite a few you can indulge in without risk of injury, just stay away from The Lustful Leg unless you have very limber knees.”
Fuck. Me. Sideways.Would it be rude to throw a seventy-year-old disabled woman into a car and send it on its way?
Oliver is still clutching tightly at Bianca’s leg and I really hope he can’t decipher this conversation.
“What’s a comma soodra?” I toss my hands up in the air. Well, there goes that. This day is getting completely away from me.
“We’ll talk about it later,” I tell him, hoping that the five-year-old attention span will work in my favor and he’ll completely forget about it. “Now let’s head inside and call Uncle Rafe and let him know I’m going to stay home with you tonight.”
“But Dad, I thought Bianca was going to watch me.” Both Bianca and Gloria are looking at me questioningly when they hear Oliver call me Dad. I’m not going to lie, it gives me warm fuzzy feelings just hearing it.
“It’s new. I’ll tell you about it later,” I let them know. “Oliver, Bianca can’t babysit you. That’s not what she does.”
“But why not?” He’s going full on pout now and I know he’s getting close to shutting down.
“Yeah, why not?” Bianca’s voice sounds annoyed as hell and when I look over at her she’s got her arms crossed defiantly over her chest while her heeled shoe is tapping impatiently.
“Well, I just thought it wasn’t your thing. You don’t seem like the type.” How can I explain delicately that she always looks a little terrified whenever Oliver’s around and she treats him like an ugly as hell porcelain figurine that she could shatter at any moment?
“Really? And what type is that?” She’s got that look in her eyes again. I almost want to smile, but I’m worried she mightstab me in the eye with a high heel if I do. I take another glance down at her shoes. At least these ones look a little shorter.
“The type that doesn’t really know what to do with kids?” She asks, raising her head and stiffening her spine. Apparently I’m pushing her buttons and I’m not even trying. I’m attempting to get her out of this for crying out loud. She turns away from me and bends down as best she can in her tight skirt so she’s almost at Oliver’s height.
Don’t look at her ass. Don’t look at her ass.Shit, I looked at it. And now I’m remembering how it felt in my hands. I shift uncomfortably from side to side since I’m now sporting a half chub in my pants.
“Oliver, I will absolutely watch you tonight.”
My eyes go wide, and my mouth drops open. I’m pretty sure Bianca isn’t a kid person, so babysitting is likely the last thing she wants to do with her evening. Besides, do I even want to leave my kid alone with someone I don’t really know and whose experience is in question?
I’m between a rock and a hard place here. I really do need to go to work tonight. And just because Bianca may not hang out with kids that often doesn’t mean she can’t keep him alive for a few hours while I work. Hell, I didn’t know the first thing about children, and I’ve kept Oliver alive this long.
“I won’t be home until really late. I’ll be gone until at least two. I’m sure you have to work in the morning.”
“Two is fine,” she clips out while staring at me.
“Okaaay.”
“What time do you need me?” I start to smile and I’m about to make some cheesy innuendo about needing her all the time but before I can she catches herself. Her cheeks turn just slightly pink and she stutters. “W-what time do I have to be over here?”
I check my watch, cursing how time is slipping away from me. “In about an hour?”
“Sounds great, see you then.”
She turns back towards her own home, but before she can take a step Oliver asks, “Can we draw Bianca?”
In a blink of an eye the stone-cold face she was showing me melts away into a brilliant smile and she tussles the hair on top of his head awkwardly. Why am I suddenly jealous of a five-year-old?
“Of course we can, kid. I’ll see you soon.” She then turns her attention to my aunt. “It was nice to meet you Gloria, you have a lovely great-great nephew.”