“Come here, baby.”
He tried to appear unaffected, but I saw the way his chest collapsed beneath the knit shirt he favored. My baby was desperate for his Daddy, but he was stubborn, and instead of running into my arms the way he wanted, he shook his head, “no, Daddy. No hugs. I’m mad at you.”
“I wasn’t asking, sweetheart.”
Little fists shook at his sides and his toes curled against the cement floor.
“Don't even think about running from me, Kitten. You know I’ll catch you.”
He made a huffing noise. “You lied to me.”
“I did not lie. I changed my mind.”
His hair was extra dark tonight, and it made him look even more ethereal when he dropped his chin and those midnight strands fell across his pale cheek like a curtain.
“You need your Daddy, sweetheart. I’m right here. Come get me.”
A shiver ran through his bones when I stepped up beside him, my chest against his shoulder. The fine hairs across his arms rose to life when I bent down and pressed my lips against the shell of his ear.
“I’m sorry.” I whispered, and the words must’ve startled him because he made a choking sound. “I promised you’d be able to hear my voice. I took that away, and I’m sorry.”
“It hurt me, Daddy.” He lifted a shaky finger and tapped the center of his chest. “It hurts me right here.”
“I’m going to make it better, Kitten. Tell Daddy what you need.”
He turned his head and rested his chin on his shoulder, gazing up at me with wet eyes. “Why… Why did you lie to me?”
“Sweetheart…”
His hands flapped in front of him. The high-pitched sound he made was laced in distress, and it hit me like a sucker punch to the gut.
“I learned something tonight, baby, and I think your Daddy isn’t as strong as you thought he was.”
“Wh.. what?”
My palms spread across his shirt, dancing along the fabric and down his sleeves. Reaching for the hem, I gave those sleeves a tug, and the relief that swept me when I found his bandages still intact was enough to knock me on my ass.
“Did you… did you decide you don’t like me watching you? I could.. I could delete my folder but I don’t want to, Daddy. I really don’t.”
“No, baby.” Palming his hips, I turned him to face me and bent to rest my forehead against his. “The thought of you sitting over in that chair, watching your Daddy every second of every day, cock hard and lips wet, makes me feel like I could crack the earth in two with just my bare hands. You make me feral, sweetheart, and I know how desperate you are for that folder. I’m not going to take it away.”
“Then I don’t…” There was movement between us, and I knew he was binding his hands with his shirt. “I don’t understand why you turned off your phone. Are you… mad at me? I promise I’m working as hard as I can to find the ghost. I found Ezra. He’s—”
“Silas, baby.” I kissed his forehead. “I’m not mad at you, okay? You’re a good boy.”
“I.. I am?”
“The best boy.Myboy.” I spread my fingers across the smooth planes of his hips. He shivered with the contact, and I tugged him a little closer. “I didn’t like it, baby. I didn’t fucking like standing in that meeting, listening to all that shit, knowing you could hear it too. Jack was recounting chopping some fucker’s arm off for swinging at him, and I couldn’t help but think about your arms, and the shit your father did to them. I…”fuck“I didn’t want my boy sitting by himself, reliving pain he escaped from a long time ago. Absolutely fucking not. Not my baby.”
“You…” He threw his arms around me and squeezed me with all he had. “You love me! I thought you were mad at me but you’re not mad, Daddy. You just love me so much that you’re going a little crazy.”
I laughed and rested my hand on top of his head, dragging my fingers through the silky strands.
“You don’t think I was crazy before I met you?”
“No.” He rubbed his cheek against my chest. “Thea said men get crazy when they have something to lose. That’s me isn’t it, Daddy? I’m your something to lose?”
Not something.Everything.