I remembered.
After I took a little nap on Daddy’s chest, he carried me to the shower and made his dirty boy all clean again. I liked the way he washed my hair and patted me dry with a big fluffy towel. After helping me brush my teeth, he slathered that stinky cream all over my arms and then reapplied my bandages.
I only complained a little.
His laugh was silly when I put on my favorite pair of tie-dye socks and wiggled my toes at him. I didn’t like pants very much, but Daddy made me wear them anyway, and then he held my hand as he drove me to his apartment in his fancy car. It was there that I watched him pack up all his clothes and drop his key in a steel box.
It’s you and me now, Kitten.
After that, he took me to my favorite store and waited patiently while I picked out a new monitor to replace the one I’d broken. I had my own money, but Daddy paid for it, anyway. I thanked him with a big kiss and a pinky swear I wouldn’t put my fist through the screen again.
“I’ll still miss you, Daddy.” My fingers danced along the armrests of my computer chair. I found a loose string in the fabric and started wrapping it around my thumb. “You promise to let me watch?”
“I promise, sweetheart. I’ll leave my phone’s camera exposed, exactly like we talked about.”
“I won’t be able to see you, though.”
“I know, baby, but it’s only for a little while.”
Mr. Thomas had monthly meetings in his creepy killer house. That stupid steel square didn’t have any cameras, and I knew he’d yell at me if I asked to install some. In a life stacked with secrets and danger, obscurity was essential, but I was good at creating my own. Mr. Thomas trusted me to keep his men out of jail, but didn’t trust me enough to secure a surveillance feed?
Bullshit.
How else was I supposed to watch my Daddy?
“How come I never get invited to these meetings?”
“Because you’re not part of the mob, Silas. You work for it.” His hand slipped across my jaw, his fingers tightening enough to gain my attention. “If I ever find you at one of those meetings, I will spank you silly and shoot the man who dared let you in. Understand?”
“Not really.”
As dangerous as those men might be, I wasn’t afraid of them. They had guns, sure, and maybe some of them had biceps the size of a bowling ball, but what I had was far more powerful.
Knowledge.
They couldn’t hide from me, and any secrets they thought they might have could be exposed with one click of my keyboard. I knew where every one of them were at this exact moment, and they didn’t even know I existed.
Ha.
“That place harbors death, Silas. Just because you love watching it doesn’t mean I want you covered in it. Your ass is going to stay planted in this chair, in front of that screen, and fucking far away from a bunch of men with records and kill sheets.”
“Don’t you think that’s a teeny-weeny bit hypocritical of you, Daddy?”
His lips flattened. “I do not have a record.”
“You have a kill sheet, though. Alongone.”
“I’ve never claimed to be rational, sweetheart.”
His fingers tip-toed along my cheekbone, caressing the outer edge of my ear. He carefully brushed a lock of hair from my face. Leaning forward, his chest collapsed, and I heard his heavy inhale.
“If you asked, I would break bone just to reach my fist inside my chest and grab what belongs to you.”
My heart tumbled, and I wondered if that precarious little organ had claws, and if the intensity I felt inside my chest was the result of it trying to dig its way to Daddy.
“I’d keep it safe for you. Your heart, I mean. If you ever gave it to me.”
“I’ve already given it to you, sweetheart. If I could rip the fucking thing out and put it in a jar, it’d be yours in an instant.”