It wasn’t fucking enough. It wouldneverbe enough. The mere thought of what that man did to my baby was enough to make me feel as though someone had carved through my abdomen and turned my stomach inside out with their bare hands.
One day, I’ll sit my boy on my lap, and watch as he locates every single one of his father’s friends, and then I’ll let him choose how they die.
“Are you mad at me, Elijah?”
Elijah?
Oh, I didn’t fucking like that.
“I’m… I’m sorry I stalked you. I just liked you so much and seeing you made my chest feel good.”
“Silas—”
“You can’t go away, okay?” He shook in my grasp, and the desperate way he clawed at me was a fucking punch to the chest. “I’ll.. I’ll delete my folder, and I’ll never watch you again.”
“Hush, baby. I’m not going anymore.” I pet him as I spoke, angling my chin so I spoke directly into his ear. “I’m not asking you to delete your folder. You don’t even have to stop watching me.”
“You’re..” He sniffed. “You’re not mad I was stalking you?”
Stunned was a better word to describe how I’d felt when I held his phone in my palm and flipped through the folder he’d titled‘Daddy’.Two years he’d been watching me—two fucking years my baby sat in that chair, longing for his Daddy.
In his possession were thousands of screenshots—frozen moments of the life I lived before I ever even knew he existed. Silas claimed me the moment he saw me. His relentless perusal and resolute certitude that I was his Daddy was enough to make me feel like a goddamn king.
“Elijah?”
No.
A grunt left him when I pinned him against the back of the door. One palm on his ass, I wrapped the other around his jaw, squeezing until his eyes locked on mine.
“What is my name?” I demanded.
“El.. Elijah?”
I increased the pressure on his jaw. “Wrong answer, baby. Try again.”
“Daddy?” His eyes widened. “You still want to be my daddy?”
“I will never stop being your daddy, Kitten. I’m not upset you were watching me. I’d only wished you’d told me earlier.”
“Thea was worried I’d freak you out. She said I couldn’t just decide you were mine because my stomach felt funny every time I saw you. I wanted to kiss you so much, Daddy. All the time.”
I thumbed his bottom lip. “Thea was afraid your intensity would scare me away?”
“Yeah.” He wedged his fist between us, rubbing at his chest. “She was afraid you’d hurt my heart muscles.”
“What about you, baby? Are you afraid of that?”
“No.” He captured my thumb and sucked it into his mouth, whispering around it. “I trust you, Daddy. My skin doesn’t feel so tight when you’re around and my arms don’t itch as much.”
I peered down at the arms in question. The cream seemed to help a lot but his fingers were still twitching, as if it were a fight not to claw at them.
“I’m sorry I broke the rules and made myself bleed. I thought you were going to panic when you saw my folder.”
I slipped my arm up his back, anchoring him to me so I could throw open the door. With a twist of the knob, I stepped out into the hallway. “It wasn’t panic I felt, sweetheart. You can watch your daddy all day and night.”
“But…” He linked his fingers together, situating them at the base of my neck. With the arch of his back, he reclined backward, staring at me with a furrow between his brows. “You were so grumpy when you marched me toward the bathroom.”
“I was grumpy because when I looked up from your phone, I found you sitting in a corner covered in blood. It’s not a fucking sight I want to see again, Silas.”