If he’s curious why I don’t follow the lead of almost everyone else and order an alcoholic beverage, he doesn’t express it. I’m thankful for that because I don’t want to explain about the accident. I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since William was stolen from me by a drunk driver. Just the thought of drinking makes me nauseous.
“One sparkling water coming right up, doll,” he says with a flirtatious wink.
My cheeks heat with a blush at the endearment and the flirting. I don’t remember being shy in the past, but I feel it now. There is something about how boldly Axel is flirting that makes me feel out of my depth. I didn’t realize dipping my feet back into the dating pool would be so overwhelming.
“Here you go.”
I reach for the glass Axel holds for me and shiver when our fingers meet. His eyes don’t leave mine as he slowly releases the glass into my hold. There's all kinds of promise in his gaze. I take a deep drink of the cool liquid, trying to tamp down the heat that’s building inside me from just a single touch.
Axel doesn’t seem nearly as affected as I am, which is disappointing in some ways and good in others.
He busies himself with other customers for a while—the club's bar area is packed. I should probably go instead of distracting Axel from his work. His boss is obviously a hardass. But I really don’t want to leave. A crappy night has taken an interesting turn, and I’m not quite ready to see it end.
“Sorry, doll. It’s not usually this crazy around here. We are down a bartender right now.”
“It’s okay. I should probably go…” I say even though I don’t want to.
Please ask me to stay, I silently beg.
His eyes flash with some unknown emotion. “No, stay. I’m off in another hour.”
“Okay, I’ll stay.” I don’t put up any kind of fight. Why would I when I’m right where I want to be?
Axel throws me the occasional wink and cocky smile while he deftly pours drinks and chats with a never-ending flow of customers. I didn’t realize how popular the club would be. I figured it would be small and quiet due to it being a daddy/babygirl specific place, but I was very wrong.
I sip at my water and people-watch while I wait. There’s a wide variety of people surrounding me. Young and older. Some are dressed in leather, others are practically naked, and everything in between. All of them appear to be comfortable in their own skin. I feel underdressed and out of my depth. It’s not a good feeling.
“Ready?” Axel asks from beside me.
I jump, practically dropping my half-full glass. Axel catches it with fast hands before it can spill. When did he leave from behind the bar? I must have seriously been in Lalaland to have missed anything about him. I mentally shake myself back to the here and now.
“Ready for what?” I ask. He might’ve asked me to stay until his shift ended, but he didn’t mention what would happen after.
“To get out of here,” he says, his dark eyes twinkling.
Am I ready to get out of here? Does that mean our time together is over? Or does he mean to leave together? Am I prepared for something like that?
No, I don’t think I am. The club is safe. Even though Axel seems sincere and doesn’t give off any creeper vibes, I hardly know him. It would be nuts to leave the safety of the club with anyone, even him.
“You’re busy overthinking things, aren’t you?” he asks knowingly.
It’s scary how well he can read me after just a couple of hours of knowing me.
“Maybe,” I admit.
“I just meant leave the bar, doll. We can either find a nice quiet spot to talk or see if a private room is available.”
A spark of adrenaline courses through me at the idea of us alone in a private room together. I definitely don’t hate the idea. In fact, based on how my body is reacting, I’m excited at the thought of it.
Am I brave enough, though?
The whole point of getting a membership to The Playground was to find a casual play partner. I’m not ready for a deep, meaningful relationship. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready again. Plus, I have Henry to think about.
I could be casual with Axel… right?
I decide to take the plunge. I came here to meet a man and potentially share a scene tonight. His ghosting me threw a wrench in that plan, but maybe it’s for the best because I feel more connected to Axel after a couple of short hours than I did after weeks of talking with the other guy.
“A private room sounds good,” I say, feeling proud of myself.