Addy
It’s beenthree days since I’ve seen Axel, and I miss him like crazy. Which is dumb because we’ve talked on the phone every night after his shifts. It’s just not the same. When he’s right in front of me, it’s easy to forget all the reasons we shouldn’t be together. When we are apart, the doubts start creeping in, followed by the guilt of moving on.
Survivors' guilt is what they call it. All I know is without him here, my mind strays to dark places. All I can think about is William being gone and my betrayal since I’m moving on with another man. It might not be rational, but I can’t completely ignore my guilt.
My phone rings, and I frown. It’s way too early for Axel to be calling. I pick it up and see my mom’s picture flash across the screen. Crap. Things have been tense since the move, and every conversation has ended badly. Usually she only calls to video chat with Henry, only giving me cursory greetings… sometimes the random jab at how disappointed she is in how I’m living my life.
It sucks that we’ve grown so far apart, but I did what was best for Henry and me. I have zero regrets about moving away.
“Hey, mom.”
“Addy, how are you?”
She sounds downright cheerful to be speaking to me. That’s new…
“I’m okay. How are you and dad?”
“Fine, fine. I just wanted to call and let you know we’ve decided to come for a visit.”
My mouth falls open. I couldn’t be more shocked by her little announcement if the Easter Bunny hopped into my room and took a shit on my floor.
“A visit,” I ask, needing clarification.
“Of course, darling. It’s been six months. That’s plenty of time for you guys to be settled. And we do miss Henry so much. And since you stubbornly refuse to come home, we figured we’d just come to you.”
There’s that little stab of guilt trip I was waiting for. I knew she couldn’t hold it back for long.
“When are you thinking about coming?” I ask even though I don’t really want to know.
I love my parents and appreciate everything they did for Henry and me, but I don’t want my mom steamrolling into my new life and casting judgment all over the place.
“We thought we’d visit for your birthday since it’s right around the corner.”
I have to think about it for a minute. My birthday hasn’t been on my radar for years, but she’s right. It’s only ten days away. Holy hell, where has the time gone?
“That soon?” I ask, hoping I misheard.
“Yep! Already booked a cute little bed and breakfast since I know your place won’t accommodate guests.”
Great. Another little jab at how I’m choosing to live my life. Mom thinks that I’m throwing William’s money away by renting. I can hear her lecture on how buying is so much better. But the problem with that is she wants me to buy a nice little house across town so she can run my life again.
“That sounds lovely,” I lie. “Do you need me to pick you up from the airport?”
“Oh no, dear. We are renting a car. Wouldn’t want to inconvenience you.”
Man, those hits just keep coming. This woman knows all the best ways to guilt trip me, and unfortunately, they all hit home and make me feel like shit.
“It really would be a bother to pick you up.”
“No, no, dear. We’ve got it all handled.”
“If you’re sure.”
“Oh dear, look at the time. It’s getting late. I just wanted to tell you the good news.”
“Definitely some big news,” I say because it being good news is still to be determined. I know Henry will be excited to see them, but it’s questionable on my end based on how my mother treats me.
“See you soon, darling.”