“Sorry. I fell asleep.” It’s a tiny white lie. I did fall asleep… after deciding to not reply.
“It’s okay. I just worried that I came on too strong and scared you off,” he says, sounding concerned.
He didn’t scare me off. I scared myself off.
“Axel…” I start but can’t find the right words to express my feelings.
“You can tell me anything, babygirl.”
My whole body reacts to that term of endearment. I close my eyes and flop back on my bed. Maybe he’s right that I can tell him anything. Maybe my being a single mom won’t scare him off. There is a long list of maybes that I could explore, but I can’t. Not if I’m going to keep things between us casual. Not if I’m going to keep my frayed emotions out of it. I’m already teetering too close to the edge of feeling something more for the man.
“We aren’t in a relationship, Axel. This thing between us is just casual…” I say, trailing off.
He lets out a heavy sigh on the other end of the phone. I can imagine him running his hands through his hair in frustration that I’m marking the line in the sand between us.
“Just because we are casual doesn’t mean we can’t be friends too,” he says reasonably.
Can I be friends with him and not get my heart involved? I’m barely holding my emotions in check after just two scenes. I never should have had sex with him. It wasn’t in my plan when I decided to try and find someone to scene with again. Orgasms, yes. Sex, no. But when we were in the moment, I couldn’t hold back. I wanted Axel in a bad way.
“I suppose that’s true.”
“Then let’s be friends,” he says, sounding a bit happier.
“So we are what? Friends with benefits?” I ask.
He laughs a little. “I guess so.”
“I’ve never had a friend with benefits before. I’m not sure I know how to go about it,” I admit.
“Well. We talk and get to know each other, and then I fuck you senseless every chance I get.” My mouth pops open at his boldness. The man sure doesn’t mince words. “How does that sound, doll?” he asks.
“It sounds okay, I guess…” I reply, sounding a little breathless.
“You guess? What part aren’t you convinced of? Being my friend or letting me fuck that hot wet pussy of yours again? You want that, don’t you?”
“I do…”
“You do what, babygirl,” he growls.
“Want you to fuck me.”
“Mmm. Are you getting wet at the thought of my big cock inside you?”
Jesus, he’s dirty talking me, and embarrassingly enough, I am getting wet by just his words. Have I ever been so affected by a man before? I instantly feel guilt over comparing Axel to William. It’s not fair to the memory of William, nor is it fair to Axel.
I shake myself out of my dark thoughts and back to the moment at hand. And at the moment I’m very horny and hoping to end the call so that I can touch myself. “Yes, I’m wet.”
“Good.”
“Why is that good?” I ask, flabbergasted.
“Because now you want me as bad as I want you.”
“I can just take matters into my own hands.”
“No touching that pussy. Remember rule number two no coming unless you have permission,” he says in an amused voice.
“That’s not fair.”