I frown. “Did I … please tell me I’m misinterpreting, but it almost sounded like you asked for aweddingto be relocated.”
“Of course I did. Damn rowdy things. They’ll be in and out all day, I didn’t want your grandmother having to deal with that kind of headache.”
That ever-present knot in my gut twists tighter, and I mimic Dad’s nod. “Excuse me.”
Today is going to be horrendous.
Chapter 2
Christian
Some days, all I wish for is a Prince Charming tofixme.
And yeah, yeah, you don’t need a man to do that and whatever, but fuck, it would be nice if one could. I’m a mess. A hot mess. No matter how hard I try, I cannot get my shit together, and it’s getting to the point where I’m worried that I never will.
MaybeDatesforRateswill help me—with more than being my date to this wedding. I mean, sure, he’s little more than a professional conman but even those fall in love. I assume. It’s not like I meet a lot of conmen to actually ask one of them.
I’ve been a wreck for a solid week about finding a date to the Most Dreaded Wedding Ever, so having foundsomeone—a very expensive someone—is helping me breathe again. And yes, the wedding gets capitals. That’s how important of an event this is.
I don’t know why, but today has that weighted feeling of an upcoming milestone. One of those events that stick with you. It’s not even my wedding.
It’s my cousin’s. Where my parents will be. The same parents I haven’t seen since theypolitelysuggested that if I wanted to date boys, I should find my own place to do it from.
That day still leaves a filthy taste in my mouth.
I groan, looking myself over in the mirror. The tux fits perfectly, it’s the most expensive thing I’ve ever worn, and I’m going to spend the entire night highly strung over something happening to it. I’m already sweating.
“Just don’t eat anything with sauce,” Auntie Agatha says, perched on the side of my bed. She lives next door to Big Boned Bertha—the house my friends and I rent—and isn’t really our aunt, but she’s the closest thing to an elderly family figure we have. She calls us her lost boys and we call her our aunt. She’s in her late seventies, with dark gray hair and a shiny black cane, and we do whatever we can to help her out, and she returns the favor by checking in on us to make sure we’re looking after ourselves.
My best friend Gabe sniggers. “Probably best if you don’t eat anything at all.”
“You want me to starve?” I ask.
They answer as one. “Yes.”
The confidence they have in me, I swear.
That said, based on past evidence, they’re probably right.
“Fuck, I’m nervous.”
Agatha scowls. “Those parents of yours have a lot to answer for.”
“I know.”
“The fact they could let a sweet boy like you go because of who you love is baffling.Anyof you boys.” She pats Gabe’s hand. “We’re all rooting for you, but I swear I’d like a word or two with them.”
Gabe’s normally happy, dimpled face darkens for a second. We’d all like more than a word or two with the people whoabandoned us. Unlike most of my roommates though, I’m still holding out hope that my parents will come around.
It’s one of the only reasons I’m going to this wedding.
“You look so handsome,” Agatha says, gripping her cane as she gets up and walks over. “This internet man will be beside himself when he sees you.”
“Doubtful, but as long as he’s good to carry on my lie, that’s all I need.”
“I wish I didn’t have to work today,” Gabe says. I know it’s eating at him, he’d call off sick if I asked him to. It’s what he does. Helps people. Gabe doesn’t know the word “no” when someone needs him. A month ago, a couple he rescued from a house fire asked him to officiate their wedding, so he went and got himself registered so he could do it. Even though saving them was literally his job, Gabe always goes above and beyond for people.
We’ve been best friends since high school, and I’d be lost without him.