At the end of the day, Star decided to go up to Damian’s office and try one last time to apologise to him. Pam wasn’t at her desk when Star approached, but her screen was on, a flight manifesto clear before her eyes. Looking up, Star noticed Damian’s door was open. His desk sat straight ahead, immaculate. The office was empty. Too empty.
∞∞∞
When Star got home, the joyful sound of Skylar’s greeting helped lift her, and she opened her arms for the incoming hug.
“Careful mummy, you’re squashing me,” Skylar laughed, wriggling from her grasp. “Uncle Damian came to see me on his way home. He told me he had to leave the office. He said he has to go back to America, so he won’t be able to see me for a little while, but he made me promise to keep reading and he looks forward to hearing me read when he gets back.” Skylar looked at her mum, her eyes wide. “I’m going to miss him.”
Stars throat closed over, and she swallowed hard around the lump that had formed. Damian was a good man. Whatever had happened between them, he had tried not to hurt Skylar with his departure. Star deserved his disdain. What had she been thinking?
Coughing to clear her throat, she said, “We will both miss him … Why don’t you go and get your book and maybe we can read together for a bit?”
Skylar trotted off up the stairs.
“Want to talk about it?” Laura asked, appearing in the doorway.
“Not right now,” Star said. “I screwed up and now he’s gone. You can say ‘I told you so,’ if you like.”
“He’ll come round,” Laura said, resting her hand on Star’s shoulder.
“I’m not sure he will. I lied to him this morning and then he caught me in that lie. The worst part was, I was with Christian,” Star admitted. Not even Laura had been privy to their meeting.
“You were with Christian? As in Dupree Christian?”
“Yes … I arranged to meet him over lunch, he wanted to ask about Skylar. Damian asked me to lunch, but I told him I was going out with the girls. Somehow he came across us in the hotel lobby. I don’t know whether he followed me, or if it was by chance. Anyway, he left and when I spoke to him … he told me he couldn’t do this anymore. Pam booked him flights back to the States. He’s gone, Laura.”
Laura pulled Star in for a hug, her ever-growing bump making it more awkward than usual.
“I can’t believe he has just upped and left,” Laura said, sounding confused. “He knows the danger of misunderstandings.”
“It wasn’t a misunderstanding, Laura. He guessed what was going on. I hurt him. Maybe this is for the best – now he can walk away. Close this chapter in his life for good and move forward.”
“I don’t believe that for one minute. I’ve seen the way that man is around you, the way he looks at you like he wants to devour you. There is no way he would just walk away. He loves you, the same way you love him.”
Star wasn’t sure her friend was right.
“I’m sure he’ll be back. What I want to know is what did the sperm donor want after all the trouble he’s caused?” Laura’s face turned hard.
Star shot a look behind her to make sure Skylar wasn’t within earshot. “This wasn’t Christian’s fault; this was all down to me. I’ll talk to you later,” she said, just as Skylar came rushing into the room with her book.
∞∞∞
Reading, dinner, bath, and then bed. Damian still hadn’t called, and Star began to think he never would. It really was over. Tucking Skylar into bed, Star’s heartstrings pulled as Skylar added Damian to her goodnight list. He had made such an impression; hopefully time would help ease the pain when he didn’t come back. She hoped the same for herself, although she wasn’t so sure this time that she’d be able to put him behind her and simply move on. She’d forced him out of her life for so long, but letting him back in had opened wounds long closed and scars never healed as well the second time.
Star headed downstairs to find Laura and Toby waiting for her. She grabbed a chair at the kitchen table and the glass of wine they had poured.
“I went to see Christian at lunchtime today,” she said, waiting to see their expressions.
“We know that much,” Laura said, encouraging her to continue.
“As you know, Damian saw us together and left. When I spoke to him after, he broke up with me,” she said, pausing and taking a large swallow of wine, “and has returned to the States.”
“Let me park the Damian situation until later. What did Christian want, Star?”
“He offered to pay me money to help raise her. In return, he asked for updates on her progress and photos.” Eyebrows shot up across the table, and Star intervened before Laura could say anything: “I’ve agreed to let him meet her – that is, if he decides he wants to be part of her life.”
Star let them shout their arguments quietly at her. Neither wanted to wake Skylar after her mother had made this monumental mistake in their eyes. Star waited until both Laura and Tobias had calmed down before she continued.
“We had a long chat. I saw a different side to Christian, the side my sister loved. He wants to support Skylar – how can I keep him away from her if he wants to be part of her life? That is not what Lily would have wanted.”