“Fine,” Laura said quietly, “but remember I watched you implode a perfect relationship before. I don’t want to watch it happen again because you won’t let someone in.”
With that, Laura returned to chopping vegetables for dinner.
“I’m sorry,” Star said, walking up behind her friend and resting her head on her shoulder. “I need to decide what to do, and I’m scared.”
“I know you are,” Laura said, resting her head against Star’s. “Why don’t you ring Christian? Find out what he wants. Not knowing is always far worse.”
“I’ll wait until tonight when Skylar is in bed and find out what he wants.” Star stepped back, moving to stir the onions browning on the stove.
The decision to call Christian made Star feel lighter. She needed to know what she was up against. Maybe he only wanted a photograph. Whatever it was, Star owed it to Skylar to find out. He was Skylar’s biological father and Lily had loved him. Staring upwards, Star sent up a message to Lily asking what she should do? As always, silence prevailed. Lily had always said she trusted Star to raise Skylar to be the best person she could be. She just hoped her faith in Star was warranted.
∞∞∞
Later that evening Star sat on her bed, staring at Christian’s number. Taking a deep breath, she opened her screen and dialled before she had a chance to rethink.
“Christian Dupree,” the voice answered almost immediately. Shocked at hearing his voice, Star was suddenly unable to find her own. “Hello?” Christian’s voice came across quieter, almost as if he realised it was Star.
Star cleared her throat. “Christian, it’s Star Roberts,”
“Star, thank you for calling. I wasn’t sure you would.” Christian’s voice was soft, as if he was scared she would spook and disappear.
“I wasn’t sure I was going to either,” Star replied honestly, her heart pounding wildly. “Why did you call, Christian?”
There was another silence at the end of the phone. “I thought this was going to be easier than it is,” Christian said with a self-deprecating laugh. Star could almost hear him shaking himself on the other end of the line, as if to clear his head and get his thoughts together. “I wanted to know about Skylar, find out how she is,” he said, the words coming out so fast Star barely caught them.
“I don’t mean to be rude, Christian, but why now? Skylar is six. You didn’t want anything to do with her before. What’s changed?”
“I know, and I’ll have to live with that forever.”
Star held her breath, readying herself to jump in.
But before she could Christian continued, “Star, I know I gave up my rights to Skylar. She is your daughter, and for that I am eternally grateful. I know you have sacrificed a lot to raise her.”
Star didn’t know what to say; she didn’t want his pity, so she remained silent and let Christian speak.
“This is so difficult …” He sounded dejected.
“Just say what you need to say, Christian.” Star sounded tired even to herself.
After a minute, Christian coughed, as if trying to clear his throat and get the words out. “I know I have no right, but I’d like to know about Skylar.”
Star’s heart sank. This is what she’d always feared, that at some point Christian would want his daughter.
“Why now?” she managed to spit out, failing to keep the hostility from her voice.
“I’m not asking to meet her,” Christian said with a sigh. “I just want to know about her. Can you and I meet? I have a lot to explain, and I would rather do that face-to-face. Please, Star, I understand I’m asking a lot.”
Lily’s heartbroken face, her weak body … Skylar’s tiny body helpless in the incubator, her first steps, her first words … all these images flashed in front of Star’s eyes. The one that stuck the most was her sister crying on her shoulder, the devastation Christian had caused, but throughout it all Lily had still loved him.
“Okay, I’ll meet you, but only because Lily would have wanted me to. But, Christian, I’m trusting you.”
“Thank you, Star,” Christian whispered.
“Don’t thank me. I’ve agreed to meet, nothing more,” Star said abruptly, not wanting him to get the wrong idea.
“Thank you anyway.”
After they’d arranged to meet at a hotel close to Hunt and Hunt, Star ended the call and sat back on the bed, looking at the phone. An internal battle waged within her, a deep sense of foreboding weighing on her chest. She knew she should call Damian and let him know what was happening, but the part of her that had been independent for so long told her that Damian didn’t need her problems and that she was better off keeping him out of this. As she had told Laura, she wasn’t willing to jeopardise the biggest deal the company had ever seen for personal reasons. She would resign before she let that happen.