Cue the butterflies.
“You had all these dreams and so did I. One of us would have had to settle, and I didn’t want that for us. Didn’t want to risk you resenting me when we were older.” His smile falters. “I guess that was a stupid reason looking back on it.”
“I don’tresentyou. I just want to cut off your airflow and watch your face turn purple every now and then.”
“Under the right circumstance, I’d love to play out your fantasy.” He winks.
“Sure. Our safe word can bemore.”
A laugh explodes from his mouth, pure and light, as he stares at me like…
Likebefore.
“Thisis what I miss.” He gestures between us with a grin. “I know I can’t go back and change what I did the last time I was here. And as fucked up as it sounds, I don’t regret it either, even though I lost you in the process. Because I would have rather known what it felt like to have had you for a summer than to have not had you at all.”
My heart feels about ready to implode on itself, especially with what he says next.
“We’ve had a rocky start this summer, but I just hope we can be friends again. At least while I’m here.”
“Friends?” The floor drops out from underneath me.
He reads my face like his favorite book. “I know I screwed up big-time yesterday.”
“You did.Massively.”
“I’m glad I have you around to keep me humble.”
“Consider it my contribution to society. We can’t have someone like you running around town with an ego the size of Lake Michigan.”
“There must be some hope for me after all when there is still Lake Superior to contend with.”
I press my lips together in a poor attempt to conceal my smile.
He sighs. “Look. I know asking to be friends again is a stretch—”Yeah, because you kissed me senseless only a week ago.“But I’m hoping we can find some way to get along while I’m here.”
I roll my bottom lip between my teeth while I consider his proposal. Being friends would set an expectation. It can give us a few boundaries that will hopefully prevent us from doing something stupid.
Right. Because that worked so well the last time he was here.
I’m smarter now. Back then, the excitement of us becoming a couple trumped my common sense. But now, I’m more prepared. Ievolved. Letting go of the anger I have toward him would be a sign of maturity.
Not trusting him and his addiction isn’t a sign of immaturity, but experience.
Experiences I suffered through not only with him, but my sister, too. The kind that taught me everything I know about living with loved ones who suffer with addictions.
I open my mouth with every intention of rejecting his bid for friendship, only to press my lips together. He isn’t the only one who misses our friendship.
I do as well.
I rock back on my heels. “If you want to be friends again, we need to establish some boundaries.”
“Like?”
“If you get drunk again like you did on the night of Cami’s graduation, we’re done. Forever.”
He swallows hard. “Fine.”
Well, damn. I expected a bit more hesitancy with that one.