I knew Cami would love Cal. It’s impossible not to, but hearing her admit she wanted him to be her dad cuts through me, especially when I’m not sure that will ever happen.
Cal might return, but how long will it take for him to fall back into destructive patterns? I refuse to let Cami be affected by him—no matter how much I wish the three of us could be together. If he chose to get sober for an inheritance, it will never stick. That much I know.
And I’m not going to wait around this time and watch the person I love most hurt himself again, even if I lose a bit of myself in the process once I let him go forever.
It’s not until Cami goes to sleep for the night that Cal leaving truly hits me. His memory lingers in every corner of the house, reminding me of the happiness we shared together before he blew it all up.
Even Merlin seems sad about his owner’s absence. He sits on the couch in the same spot Cal always occupied during movie nights. I try to relax on the other side and watch something, but my mind continues to drift back to everything about Cal.
Is he feeling bad about everything that happened?
Did he mean what he said about going to rehab because he wanted to rather than doing it for his inheritance?
Will he come back sober and willing to do whatever it takes to get me back or will he give up the moment I show a bit of resistance?
Questions run through my head, making it impossible to concentrate on anything happening on the screen in front of me.
With a groan, I shut the TV off and abandon my spot on the couch. Walking toward my room, I pause outside the door and turn toward the closed one across the hall.
Don’t even think about it.
Except I’m not thinking as I enter the empty room Cal once occupied. He went out of his way to make the bed, which is something he never did unless I asked him.
I’m so quick to move on from the bed, I nearly miss the white rectangle that doesn’t quite match the eggshell-colored comforter. The dull discomfort in my chest morphs into a sharp ache as I pick it up and read the message written across the back in Cal’s messy handwriting.
I dare you to wait for me.
Therealme.
Thesoberme.
Thebestme who wants to spend the rest of his days getting drunk on life with you.
He draws out a scoreboard that matches the plank we had, except there is an added tally to my side that wasn’t there before.
I flip the photo. My vision blurs as I take in the three of us at Dreamland. Cami and I face the camera with beaming smiles, but it’s Cal who steals the show with his smile. He looks sober. Alive.Happy.
I lose the battle with gravity and fall against the mattress, holding the photo to my chest like a life raft in the middle of an ocean. One edge creases from my carelessness, so I’m quick to place it on the nightstand.
Everything smells like him. The bed. The sheets. The pillow I end up cradling against my chest as I curl into a ball.
I dare you to wait for me.
Seven words steal my breath and fuel my tears. They fall down my cheeks before soaking the pillow beneath me. I’m not sure why I’m crying. Is it out of sadness? Hope? Fear that what he says might not be true?
Maybe a mix of all three if I’m being honest.
I make a promise to myself to leave in a minute. Except a minute comes and goes, and I still find myself unable to move from his bed.
At some point, Merlin curls up against me. The fact that Cal left him here tells me one thing.
He really does plan on coming back whether I want him to or not.
And a part of me wants him to do just that.
The trip from Lake Wisteria was a blur. I don’t stop driving until I park outside Iris and Declan’s house on the edge of the suburbs.
“Cal?” Iris blinks up at me. “What are you doing here?”