You could tell her.
No, the voice of reason speaks up.
Telling Lana about my grandfather’s will could risk everything, and I didn’t go through all this trouble to prove I’m a failure yet again.
One day, I’ll be able to tell her all about the inheritance, but today isn’t that day—no matter how sick to my stomach I feel by withholding the truth.
Her gaze pins me in place. “Who cares about selling the house?”
“I do.” My voice cracks.
Her lips purse with distaste.
You’re losing her all over again.
“Why?” she asks.
“Because I made a commitment to selling it and I can’t back down.” My throat feels as if someone wrapped their hand around it and squeezed.
“A commitment to who?”
“Myself.” I speak with absolute honesty.
“What?”
“You have lots of happy memories in that house, and while I do too, it’s not enough to make me want to keep it. Not by a long shot.”
She visibly swallows. “Why not?”
“Because it reminds me of some of the worst moments of my life. The mother I lost. The father who no longer exists. A grandfather who abandoned me when I needed him.” I take a deep breath. “I don’t think I could ever truly move forward with my life with that house still hanging over my head.” The words I speak are completely true, yet they still feel like a lie.
You’re doing this to protect your brothers and their futures.
If I’m doing the right thing, then why does it feel so shitty?
Her head shakes. “If you’re serious about us, then you’d go and get help before this gets worse, regardless of needing to sell a house. I refuse to watch history repeat itself—for me and for my daughter.”
“It won’t anymore. I can promise you that.”
“How am I supposed to trust you?”
As good a question as any, and one that makes my heart pound harder in my chest.
I clasp on to her chin. “Because I can’t survive losing you again. Getting a glimpse of the life we could have if I changed is enough to convince me that I will never be happier than I am with you, even if I have a long way to go before we can move forward together. You asked if I’m willing to put in the work? I’m so fucking ready, I would sell the house tomorrow.”
Different emotions flicker across her face.
Sadness. Uncertainty.Resignation. It’s the last one that makes the acid rolling my stomach unbearable.
Lana takes a few deep breaths before peeking up from underneath her lashes. “Then do it.”
My eyebrows tug together. “Do what?”
“Put the house on the market tomorrow before we leave for Dreamland.”
My mouth drops open.“Tomorrow?”
“Is that a problem? You’re the one who wants to sell it so you can move on with your life, so here’s your chance. Contact the realtor first thing in the morning.”