My head shakes. “Yes, but who knows what will happen the next time something difficult happens? I’ve already been through this with you before.”
“This isn’t like the last time.”
“Of course, it isn’t.” A bitter laugh crawls up my throat.
He stops walking to look me in the eyes. “For starters, I’m not on Oxy anymore.”
I break eye contact first. “I know.”
“I’m not going to make that mistake again. That much I can promise.” His deep sigh makes me tense. “It took me a long time to let go.Too long.But I swear I will never ever go back to that shit or else I give you permission to shoot me.”
My lips twitch. “Anywhere I want?”
“If you want to aim for the dick, make sure to land a bullet in my skull first.” He smiles.
I begin walking again to escape the tingle in my chest. “Do you ever think about getting sober?”
“Lately, all the damn time.”
I want to believe him. I really do, but something still holds me back.
You don’t trust him.
No, I don’t. And I’m unsure if I ever will after everything we have been through together. I’ve been through enough life lessons to learn that the more someone lets you down, the higher probability there is of it happening again.
I clear my throat. “I’m proud of you for getting off Oxy. I know that must have been hard.”
“Not nearly as hard as coming to grips with how badly I hurt you while on it.” He reaches for my hand and gives it a squeeze.
My chest aches when he lets go. Cal continues walking, so I fall in step with him as comfortable silence surrounds us.
Cal is the first one to break it when someone glares in his direction. “Do you think people will hate me a little less now that I’m going to be featured on the front page of the paper wearing that costume?”
I bite back my laugh. “Nope, but it was a good try.”
“It must be nice to have so many people who care enough about you to give me nonstop hell.” His lips twitch.
“You could say that. Although they’re a bit overprotective at times.”
“Only because they love you.” His voice matches the warmth in his eyes.
I look away. “You know, I can spread the word that you’re no longer a persona non grata.”
“Please don’t go out of your way to be so nice to me. I might read too much into it.”
I nudge him in the ribs with my elbow. “Jerk.”
He laughs. “I’ll get them to warm up to me eventually.”
“How so?”
“By proving I won’t hurt you, no matter how much they expect me to.”
And just like that, Cal snatches another piece of my heart to add to his growing collection.
The smells and giggles coming from the kitchen wake me up far earlier than I’d like. Merlin seems to agree with the way he darts underneath the bed at the sound of a pot clanging, leaving me alone.
I stumble out of my room while rubbing my eyes. “Hey.”