I hadn’t taken her life.
But I had taken her voice.
According to Dr Campbell, I’d caused fractures to the cartilage in her larynx, damaging her vocal cords.
It didn’t impede her ability to breathe, but after an extensive examination, he wasn’t sure she’d ever regain the full range of pitch.
Guilt had started the moment I’d visited the three goddesses—after he’d called me to take Jinx to her villa. Self-loathing had followed swift on its heels when he’d jerked me to the side and given me an ultimatum.
Stop who I was.
Stop doing what I did.
Or…he’d quit and wouldn’t be quiet about who he talked to.
He willingly put himself in my line of fire, knowing I would have to remove his ability to destroy my enterprise, but also hesitant to harm someone who proved as trustworthy as any human could.
He at least gave me a heads-up about his betrayal…giving me time to fix what I’d broken before I had to deal with him.
Eleanor stopped up ahead.
Her white and silver dress swung around her hips as she coughed gently and turned back to face me. Her voice held a huskier depth than before, the discoloration around her neck bringing mixed results of shame and desire.
I froze as she padded back toward me, her bare feet and slim ankles a fucking aphrodisiac, even though my body hadn’t fully recovered from elixir.
She licked her lips, smoothing her dress and smiling softly as Pika and Skittles shot past, flying from fruit to fruit, destroying and indulging on whatever they wanted.
I waited until she stood in front of me, her grey eyes still molten from our moment in the boat. When I’d laughed…I’d shocked both of us.
I’d forgotten I was capable of such a thing.
It’d felt foreign. Wrong.
But also familiar. Right.
The way she stared at me had ensured whatever language we’d traded in, steadily learning more phrases the deeper we fell, had switched from unknown into fully understandable.
A look wasn’t just a look now.
A touch wasn’t just a touch.
I heard what her look said.
I knew what her touch promised.
And the way she’d watched me as I’d stopped mid-laugh, confused and conflicted, swallowing back the outlandish sensation, had grabbed a bullhorn and told me everything I needed to know.
She loved me.
Despite what I’d done, because of what I’d done, regardless of who I was and what I did, she loved me.
I knew it in my fucking bones, but it didn’t mean I trusted it.
Not at all.
Why should I trust something that was a simple cocktail of chemicals and body chemistry? She thought she cared, but she’d conveniently ignored the circumstances of our meeting and the complications of our future.
My own parents loved me and look at the level of treason they were capable of.
She might love me…but it meant absolutely nothing, changed nothing.
It can’t.
“Sully…” She licked her lips again, swallowing past her pain. “I’m honoured that you’ve shown me this place. That I’ve had the experience of eating strawberries still warm on their stem and cracked nuts still hanging off their branch…but, I need to ask you something; otherwise, I’m going to go crazy.”
My heart picked up its pace in warning, and I carefully placed my hands into the pockets of my jeans. Whatever she asked, I would not lash out. I would not touch her, scare her, hurt her.
“What do you need to know?”
Her chest rose as she inhaled a fortifying breath. “Please tell me what you’re going to do with Jupiter, Neptune, and Calico. I know you think it’s weak that I don’t want them to suffer, but honestly…it wasn’t their fault.”
My voice slipped into darkness. “If it wasn’t their fault, then the blame lies with me.”
Her eyes flared. “You say that like you already know it does.”
I shrugged. “I’ve always been accountable for my goddesses’ insubordination. If they run, it’s because I’ve trapped them. If they fight, it’s because I’ve placed them in servitude. If they give up, it’s because I’ve taken them away from everything they know and turned their very minds against them.”
She spread her hands as if lost for words. “Then…if you agree their attack on me ultimately lays blame at your feet…don’t you think—” She cut herself off, running shaky fingers through her hair that was a damn drug to me. “Don’t you think they’ve suffered enough?”
“They’ve suffered me, you mean.”
Her back straightened, willingly going to battle for women who’d not only tried to kill her but had let envy scramble up their own morals. Out of everyone I knew, she was the kindest.
Skittles saw it.
Pika knew it.
She had that special gift of empathy that I used to have. Empathy that would get her killed, unless she learned to turn it off and protect herself.
She fought the urge to fidget, keeping her stare tangled with mine. “Living on your island is wonderful, there is no denying that. It’s like a permanent vacation where all your wishes are fulfilled…but—”