CHAPTERTHIRTEEN
NIX
We lay down after we ate, and then bathed in the river. The children were so exhausted from chasing each other through the forest that I’d checked to make sure they were still breathing.
They slept between Véa and me in the bed. There were enough rooms in this inn for everyone to have their own, but I couldn’t bring myself to let them out of my sight. Rationally, I knew that my nephews couldn’t get here. The Land of Light was only accessible to Fae folk. They were half Angel, half Witch so they couldn’t open an egress here.
But they could try. They could hunt down a Fae who could.
It was maddening. All of it.
Lying there, holding my children, staring at the wooden ceiling, memories from all those thousands of years ago floated back. With clarity, I remembered the look on Véa’s face when she told me she wouldn’t give Michael and Gabriel eternity. Her vibrant green eyes were full of tears. Her voice quivered when she said it. Even her hands trembled.
And I walked away.
I was so angry. How could she? Why give it to me, and not to them? None of the par animarum were exactly virtuous, but she gave it to us? What had they done that was so awful? When we had children, would she decide some of them were unworthy of eternity too?
Later, we learned that the decision hadn’t been up to either of us. Two eternal parents passed the trait onto our children whether we liked it or not. Heylel had taught us that.
The day after Véa refused eternity to Gabriel and Michael flashed through my mind.
We were eating dinner at the castle with Pa, and Lux burst through the door. With fire in his eyes, he charged Véa. I lapsed between them before he could get within arm’s reach.
“You’re going to let them die?!” he’d screamed. “You raised my boys. You love them.And you’re going to let them fucking die?!”
It was the only point in all the time since I’d met Véa that I didn’t defend her. I was as hurt as Lux was. Not angry enough to scream in her face, but I understood where he was coming from.
Véa tried to explain slowly and rationally, but Lux kept yelling at her. I may not have defended her, but I wouldn’t let anyone scream in my wife’s face. After I pulled him away, I talked it through with him.
“I don’t understand it either,” I’d said. “I love those boys. And so does she—”
“If she did, she’d give them eternity,” he’d snapped.
“It isn’t that simple—”
“If she won’t, I will.”
And he vanished.
For the following year, Lux barely looked Véa in the eye. That, she didn’t mind too much, but considering Stella was just as upset with her, it was a strain on her psyche. I’d like to say that I treated her no differently during that time, but that’d be a lie. Although we never argued over it, I resented her decision.
Until one day, Michael and Gabriel showed at our door. Michael’s smile was giddy, like a child who’d just gotten all the goodies and treats he could ever want. Practically bouncing with excitement, he’d said, “Guess what, Nix.”
Thrown by his demeanor, I’d made a joke about whether he’d smoked any special flowers today.
He’d laughed that off.
Then he slammed a blade of Elvan ore through Gabriel’s chest.
Shocked doesn’t come close to how I felt in that moment. I’d screamed for Véa, thinking she could heal him, and reached out to hold Gabriel until she arrived.
Laughing, the rings around Gabriel’s irises shined bright white. He pulled the blade from the center of his chest, just as Véa made it to the landing of the stairs behind me. “Pa found a way, esiasch. We’ll live forever too.”
“We don’t need you anymore, do gràs.” Michael had said that in the most taunting tone, his eyes carnal. “Perhaps no one will.”
In that moment, though, I hadn’t seen it that way. He wasn’t mocking her; he was showing her his fun new trick. I was as giddy as Michael.
Véa congratulated the boys.