Kane’s quiet for another moment, and I see his fingers gently massaging his stump through his trouser leg. So yeah, pain, probably. “I think he’ll talk to you. We can get it out of him our way. He might be good, but Ari has never failed to make his little birds sing.”
I know for a fact Leo would crack under Ari’s attentions. I just don’t know how accurate and truthful the information would be.
Maybe that’s why Kane’s asking me first. Or maybe he’s testing my loyalty.
“I can see what you’re thinking,” Kane says, staring at me intensely. I think he’d probably get up and join me in this chair if he could. “This isn’t a trick, Alice. There are no tests you have to pass. We all understand that you feel some measure of affection for your sibling.”
“He’s not,” I start sharply, then swallow past a lump in my throat. “Just because we share a father doesn’t make him anything more than he was before this all happened.” I realize my hands are shaking, and I realize all these fucking hormones are making it harder to ignore the trauma of my past. My tongue feels loose with desperation to just say it.
To stop hiding to appear strong and unaffected.
“Darling girl,” James whispers, and he tries to move, but thankfully, Phoenix holds him in place.
I take another breath, well aware I have their undivided attention. “Leo taught me a lot,” I go on. “How to defend myself. How to stay strong. How to turn it all off. How to expect betrayal by people who are supposed to love you.”
Kane’s jaw is so tense I can see something pulsing in his temple, but he says nothing. He just nods.
“Before Leo knew he was my brother, I was still his cousin, and he knew what my father’s plans were for me. He was going to let it happen. He never lifted a finger to stop…to stop anything. He participated,” I spit bitterly, thinking of how often I’d been kidnapped as a child for training. Forfun. “If you hadn’t taken me, he would have left me to whatever Guido had decided my future should look like.”
These are all words I’d been too afraid to admit to myself since Leo showed up after the engagement party. They’re all the words I kept in a tiny box inside my head as a reminder of why I made the choices I did.
These men are not good men. But they are better.
“But I don’t know why you think I have some hold over him,” I finally say. “He won’t tell me anything he won’t tell you.”
“I know,” Kane says softly, meeting my gaze. “But I thought maybe you’d enjoy it.”
His words send a rush of terror and shock through me because he’s right. He’s…he’s fucking right. I just hadn’t thought about it before. I hadn’t let myself.
There’s this piece of me desperate for something—not quite revenge but the power to dish out everything I’ve been forced to take my entire life. I want to see the look on someone’s face when they realizetheyhave no choice. Thattheirfate is in the hands of someone else.
I want them to look down that black hole and know what it means to plot an escape they’ll never get the chance to use.
I would rather it be my father, but I’ll settle for Leo, who only cares about me now that he thinks I can further his cause.
“She looks hungry,” Kane says, and I realize he’s speaking for Phoenix’s benefit since he doesn’t have his AI to murmur in his ear. “She looks like she understands what it means to be one of us now.”
I turn and glance at Kane, studying his face. It’s still passive and protected, but his eyes are more open than I’ve ever seen them. “Are you really planning to marry me?”
He blinks, startled. “Alice…”
“Is this some…” I try to stop myself, but I can’t. Not now that the words are escaping my chest. “Is this some plan to buy time so you can kill Guido without needing me?”
“I will take pleasure in watching him accept the fact that you belong to us now. That you’ll willingly accept my name, my body, and my soul. But marrying you is more, and I’ll spend the rest of my life reminding you about how much I want you, if that’s what it takes. If that’s what you need, little goddess. This right here, in this room, is my life.”
I sniff, hating myself for it, but fuck it. I’m tired of the belief that crying makes you weak. “I don’t understand. I don’t understand why me. You don’t even know me.”
“No,” Phoenix says quietly. “Youdon’t knowus. We watched you for a long time, princess. You were ours before we even understood what that was going to mean.”
My heart throbs in my chest, sort of like poking at a sore, atrophied muscle. “I…”
I don’t know what to say.
Kane sighs, then turns toward me and holds out his arms. “Come here, little goddess. I know I’ve fucked this up. I don’t know how to be delicate with you.”
“I don’t need you to be delicate,” I say, and I try to stay in my seat, but my limbs won’t obey me. I’m on my feet and closing the short distance between me and the master of this empire, and he’s holding me like I’m actually fragile.
“Yes, you do. And that’s okay,” he whispers into my hair, kissing the spot behind my ear. His hands are massive and warm and clinging to me like he’s afraid to let go. “Because we need you to be delicate for us. We need you to remind us that we’re capable of tenderness and care.”