“I got lipstick on your face.” She hands me a cocktail napkin. “Sorry.”
After wiping my mouth free of her vivid red shade, I laugh, mostly to find normalcy. “It’s all good.”
“So…” She sucks in a shaky inhalation and wrings her hands. “Since we successfully picked each other up, is this the part where you take me home and take me to bed? You know, so I can practice not caring some more.”
My heart stops. “Only if you’re comfortable. If it’s too soon, if you’re not ready, that’s totally understandable and—”
“Your place or mine?”
Is this really happening? “Are you sure?”
She shrugs like she’s got everything under control. “If I could kiss you without emotion getting in the way, I’m pretty confident I can sleep with you without getting attached.”
I start to call bullshit. Then I realize all her reactions were merely byproducts of lust. Our kiss made mefeelsomething—a reaction I haven’t had to a woman in years. Am I projecting my feelings onto her?
Damn, I can’t let that slide. And I can’t repeat my mistake.
“If you say so.” I play it cool. “For future reference, you’ll always want to have sex at your place. It’s safer.”
“Why?”
“Your home is what you’re familiar with. Consider it home-court advantage. Also, no walk of shame.”
“Oh, makes sense.”
Deep down, I think she deserves better. She deserves a man who will give her everything she wants both physically and emotionally. A man devoted to her. But that’s not the future she’s chosen.
She chose me to settle for less.
That thought irks me as we leave the club and I drive back to Kiera’s apartment. Most of the silent trip, she stares out the window. What is going on in that head of hers? Her quiet unsettles me. She shouldn’t be this pensive if we’re about to have sex.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
She turns in my direction. “What? Oh, yeah. I’m fine.”
“You seem awfully quiet.”
“Lost in thought.”
“Something specific on your mind? Are you sure you want to do this?”
She hesitates, then nods. “The thing is, I haven’t had sex…for some time. And I’m not sure what to expect with you.”
“I get that, since sex hasn’t been great for you in the past.”
“It’s been…meh at best.”
Translation, it sucked. “Did you talk with either of those guys before getting busy?”
“About sex?” Her brows furrow. “Why would I do that?”
“Neither of you communicated what you wanted in bed?”
She shakes her head. “No.”
Those guys were so focused on their own dicks, they didn’t bother to ask what she wanted? “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I didn’t know that I should. I thought expressing what I wanted in bed would be imposing.”