"Good, now jam your elbow back into their gut," Justice, the patient, sandy-haired beta male, instructed the seven omegas and betas gathered on mats in front of him.
This room was around the back of the clubhouse, with windows open to let in fresh air from the gardens, and birdsong that was incongruous with the traumas and disorders packed into the room. We'd all been through something, and come out the other end but not unscathed.
It was both a comfort to be among people who understood what I'd been through—even if they didn't know the details—and frustrating that I fit it so well among the victims. I wasn't a victim, dammit.
"Good—Thora, not so hard. Why are you here, anyway? You could probably beatmeup," Justice sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"And don't think I won’t," a severe omega with short black hair and defined musculature replied. She was like Lynn, but if you turned up the aggression and removed the camaraderie. I'd never seen an omega like her.
I jammed my elbow slowly into Vienna's hold around me and she released me as if I'd put my full power behind it. I was lethargic after a night full of tossing and turning, my dreams filled with that vile room in the Hunters' house, and I didn't really have the energy to be here, practising self defence. But anything was better than sitting in my room with time tothink.
"You can hit harder," Vienna said, a smile in her voice. "If you bruise me, I'll just repay the favour when it's my turn."
I forced a laugh, and repeated the move with more intention. I felt weirdly … empty. Especially after Vienna woke me up, like she'd magically known I was wracked with nightmares, and then hugged me without comment.
Maybe she was sensitive to the emotions around her. I didn't believe in full magic, but I knew empaths were real—some people picked up on others' moods better than the rest of us.
"Good," Justice praised. "ChaCha, try straightening the line of your elbow."
"I'll straighten you in a minute," she muttered beside me and Vienna. It was the fifth time the male beta had told her to correct something.
I waited for Justice to snap, but he just rolled his eyes and demonstrated the move with Jessa for us to see it again. She elbowed him hard enough that he grunted, and then grinned with pride.
They were a family. I hadn't realised it yesterday, but seeing the way everyone interacted—the teasing, the lowkey insults, the ease with which they touched and laughed and talked—it was pretty clear.
I was glad in a way. Astrid was as much a part of this family as the men and women around me; I was glad they were decent people.
Thinking about Astrid made me think about her mate, another sore spot I wanted to avoid. What if he told her about the bruises on my neck? If she found out I'd been collared and chained to a bed, she'd be devastated.
"Hey," Vienna murmured, lightly touching my shoulder but removing it when I flinched. "You alright?"
"Fine," I replied as calmly as I could, wiping any emotion from my features.
"You know we'reallstruggling, right? You're not alone."
Everyone kept telling me that, and while it was sweet and well intentioned, it was nothing except a reminder of that day, that house, that bed. Thatalpha.
I put a step between me and Vienna, breathing in through my nose and out my mouth until I calmed. My fingers itched for a paintbrush, needing to bleed these emotions onto canvas the way I usually did. But normally, my intense emotions were happiness and affection and awe—and occasionally stress when a sale didn't go through, or anxiety when a client was demanding and rude.
"Let's try another hold, and then we'll swap partners," Justice called, meeting each of our gazes. My stomach jolted when he reached me, and I glanced away, irrational fear making my heart hammer my ribs.
Justice wasn't even an alpha. He'd never touched me, never growled, and hadn't looked at me for longer than he had to to instruct us. But my skin crawled, and I couldn't shake off the unease once it formed.
The training room smelled clear and clean, fresh air still wafting through the windows, but the scents of rotten alphas and slick and cum somehow burned my nose.
"Luna?" Justice asked quietly, kindly. It grated. "If you need to step out, no one's gonna judge you."
I straightened my spine in one rushed movement, snapping my head up to glare at him. I didn't need to be treated like … like I was fragile and hurt and—and a victim. I wasn't a fuckingvictim.
"I'm fine," I said through gritted teeth, bristling even more when he nodded patiently, no part of him aggressive or threatening.
Still, Ifeltthreatened.
"Okay," I told Vienna, faking a smile as I turned to face her.
Understanding made her wide eyes luminous, but she didn't question me. She stepped up and took my arm, gently bringing it behind my back the way Justice was demonstrating on Jessa.
"If you get triggered, stopimmediately," he told all of us. "Don't try to be brave. Only push your body, not your emotional state, yeah?"