I laughed and said, “Okay, you win. I’ll stay for a drink.” In truth, I had been hoping for an excuse to hang out longer. After schmoozing with rich donors all night, I didn’t want to go back to my tiny apartment on the crummy side of town.
“Good. We’re going to watch a bad movie.”
“Oh, fun!” I said while he poured me a glass.
August’s Bernese Mountain Dog rubbed against my leg like a cat, then sat down on my feet and stared up at me. I reached down and scratched her behind the ear. “I like your dog.”
“She likes you.” August poured two more glasses of wine and handed one to Michael. “That’s actually the real reason I invited you. So Bernie could judge you. In fact, this entire cocktail party was an elaborate ruse to get you here so my dog could sniff you out. Good thing you passed.”
I dramatically wiped my brow. “Whew. Thank goodness.”
“Let’s start the movie,” Michael said, glancing at his watch. “That way it’s over before eleven.”
Michael sat on the end of August’s big designer couch, so I picked a cushion in the middle, with a respectable amount of space between us. August collapsed onto the matching loveseat, propping his legs up on the end. “Tonight’s movie is my choice. And I’m going withMac and Me.”
Michael groaned. “What’sMac and Me?”I asked.
“Only the worst movie known to man,” August replied while turning the TV on. “It’s going to be great.”
“It’s a ripoff of E.T.,” Michael explained. “But really,reallybad.”
“So it’s just like E.T.,” I said.
“Woah!” Michael said. “E.T. is a classic!”
“You’ve done it now,” August told me.
“What?”
“E.T. is a heartwarming movie about taking care of someone different than yourself,” Michael said defensively.
August leaned over the loveseat toward me. “It’s his favorite movie.”
“It was my mom’s favorite movie. So I watched it a lot with her.”
“Close your ears, Ginny.” August turned to Michael. “Should I fire her now, or wait until Friday so it’s less awkward?”
“I’m sorry!”
“It’s not a big deal,” Michael said. “You hate one of the great American masterpieces with a flawless John Williams score. Everyone is allowed to have at least one really bad opinion.”
“Mac and Meis truly terrible though,” August chimed in. “It will make E.T. look likeCitizen Kane.”
Twenty seconds into the movie and I saw what they meant. It was immediately obvious that this was going to be a terrible viewing experience. The costumes were cheap rubber, and the aliens had permanently puckered lips and round eyes.
“They look like they’re constantly surprised!” Michael said.
“Or like they just got a surprise prostate massage,” August added. He grinned when I laughed.
I had never expected to enjoy watching a really bad movie, but listening to the two of them riff on it the entire time was a ton of fun.
We were twenty minutes into the movie when I got another text.
Kai: Hey, I hate to bring this up, but don’t forget to get tested before Friday. Otherwise I will insist on using a condom.
Me: No, of course! I’m actually going at lunch tomorrow.
Kai: Thanks for understanding. I’ll make it worth your while on Friday :-)