“Turn that shit off!” I shouted.
“This video needs to play for everyone in this room,” Sandra said calmly. “If you don’t watch it, then I am never donating another penny to your foundation, and will find another—hey! What are you doing?”
I darted forward and ripped the video cable out. But it was still playing on the laptop, with full sound as Digital Ginny writhed on the bed. So I gripped the laptop with both hands and swung it at the wall like a baseball bat. Everyone else in the room stared in shock as pieces of plastic and metal rained down on the ground.
“You’re going to pay for that,” Sandra said. “I will make sure the other donors…”
“I don’t give an ounce of a flyingfuck,” I said, tossing the ruined laptop on the ground. “What the shit is wrong with you?”
“Language!” Dad said.
“Oh, right. Because my language is the only inappropriate thing happening in this meeting.”
“The woman in that video is your employee,” Sandra said simply. “It was important that you see what she does with her paycheck.”
“All of us had to see it?” I demanded. “Even Julia, for fuck’s sake? I bet she didn’t wake up this morning expecting to see hardcore porn before she finished her morning tea!”
Julia slowly raised her hand. “I’ve, uh, seen adult videos before. It’s not a big deal.”
“It most certainly is a big deal,” my dad suddenly spoke up. He stood and buttoned his suit jacket with calm formality. “Thank you for bringing this to our attention, Sandra. We will of course take the appropriate action.”
I turned to face him. He was smiling at Sandra smugly. He wasn’t even a little bit surprised—which was a shock to me, since he was as prudish as could be.
Did he know this was going to happen?
Ginny had remained silent until now. She drew a shuddering breath, and began to tremble. Her eyes were wide and shimmered with tears.
I wasn’t sure what Ginny was to me. Employee, lunch buddy, girlfriend, friend-with-benefit. Maybe all of the above. But whatever she was, I couldn’t bear it. In that moment, I felt my resolve harden.
I knew that I had to stop this, no matter what it took. Even if I had to sacrifice myself to do it.
53
Ginny
I’d heard the phraseout of body experiencebefore. On TV, or movies, or documentaries about people who experienced terrible things. I knew what it meant in an academic sense, but I had never truly understood it before.
Now I did. As the video played on the screen behind Sandra Trout, it felt like I was floating above myself. My body was downthere, and I was uphere. Watching it all happen to somebody else. It definitely wasn’t happening to me, Ginny Hanover. My mind was shielding itself from the trauma that was currently unfolding. I was numb as Kai tried to say something, and was rebuked by Sandra. I watched uncaring as August ripped the laptop away and smashed it against the wall. And when Cornelius Cunningham, the CEO of the foundation, stood up and promised that action would be taken, I noted it with calm curiosity.
It was only when Sandra spoke directly to me that I snapped out of it and my consciousness returned to my body.
“Well?” she demanded with a decidedly evil smile. “Do you have anything to say for yourself?”
As everyone turned to look at me, I wondered how she found out. Her private security guys had been following me, and must have discovered some clues. That, along with some internet sleuthing. I thought I had been careful, but clearly not enough. Nowadays, nobody wastrulyanonymous on the internet, no matter how hard they tried.
I didn’t have any defense for it. None that they would care about. So I did the next best thing.
“I don’t know what this is,” I said in a shaky voice. “But that’s not me.”
“It doesn’t look anything like her,” August quickly agreed, shaking his head emphatically.
Sandra loudly scoffed. “Oh, it’s definitely her. I can prove it. As the kids these days say,I brought receipts.” She reached for her laptop, then remembered that it was smashed on the floor. Instead, she pulled out her phone. “I have photographs of the interior of her apartment. As you can see, the ugly pink art piece is above her bed. And here is her recording equipment.” She held out her phone for people to see, though it was too small.
Mr. Fedener.He must have taken them. I felt betrayed.
“That woman is you. And there are far more graphic videos on display. Things no God-fearing woman should do for money. For an organization like the New Mexico Community Foundation to employ someone like this…”
“I am as outraged as you are,” Cornelius Cunningham agreed. “Ms. Hanover…”