I should have known. I could have protected Ginny. Instead, I was blind to it. Worse, I had told Ginny everything was fine.
Sandra smiled victoriously and gestured at the screen. “Thisis who Virginia Hanover is.”
51
Michael
I had spent the week reflecting on everything in my life. Rolling it all around in my head and trying to figure out how I felt about it all. Because I couldn’t do anything until I understood myself, and my own emotions.
Ginny was ThiccGinger. The OnlyFans girl whose page I was subscribed to. The girl I was obsessed with.
I had only come to a decision about the whole situation this morning. I took a shower, and with perfect clarity, Iknew. I got dressed and went to work with the surefire stride of a man who knew himself, and what he wanted.
Then I saw Ginny and Kai in the conference room together, smiling. Pretending like they didn’t know each other from the multiple videos they filmed together every single week.
I wasn’t jealous. Not in the purest form of jealousy, at least. But I was upset that I didn’t know about this part of her life. The OnlyFans page,andthat she had a partner who she worked with. I wanted her to let me in. I wish we were close enough for her to share that side of life.
But I understand why she didn’t.
I still remembered one summer, growing up, when Mom and I were living out of her car. She let me sleep in the back seat at night when we parked at the back of a Walmart parking lot, and claimed she preferred sleeping in the front with the seat reclined. But I knew she had done it for me. Thinking back on it, the whole thing broke my heart. We’d had so little. I would have done anything to get out of that. I would have done anything to help my mom.
That’s all Ginny was doing. More than anyone else here, I could sympathize with her motivations.
I couldn’t wait to talk to her. To let her know that I understood, that I knew, and that I still cared about her. No, fuck that—carewasn’t a strong enough word. Iloved her. That realization was like a bomb in my chest, and I needed to defuse it by telling her as soon as possible. As soon as this stupid meeting was over.
And then Sandra played a video.
I immediately recognized it, because it was one that I had watched before. There was a confusing moment where I didn’t understand what was happening, why I was seeing this here of all places.
And then, in a flash, I understood.
I turned to look at Ginny across the table. Her eyes were wide with shock. And at the front of the room, Sandra was grinning at her with malice in her heart.
Oh no.
52
August
WHAT THE ACTUAL SHIT-FUCK.
I was a millennial man born in the internet age. I was a connoisseur of pornography. Like most guys, it wasn’t weird to me at all. I’d watched all kinds of stuff on the internet, late at night when the city was silent and I was alone in my penthouse. Almost every kind you could think of.
Seriously. Even the weird stuff, out of idle curiosity.
Sorry. I’m going off on a tangent. The point I’m trying to make is that porn didn’t weird me out. It was an unspoken part of life, like going to the bathroom, or Googling who the fuck Kaitlyn Jenner was.
But having porn suddenly playing on the conference room screen, in front of a bunch of my coworkers? It was like a shot of adrenaline directly to my heart.
I immediately recognized the OnlyFans girl Michael was obsessed with. I had checked her out after he mentioned it a month ago. What? She was hot. And she kind of reminded me of Ginny.
And then Sandra said, “Thisis who Virginia Hanover is.”
I whirled to Ginny, dumbfounded. Of course ThiccGinger reminded me of Ginny—they were the exact same person. I must have watched four or five videos of that girl. How could I have been so blind?
Then my dad, the CEO of the company, started chuckling at the video. I stopped being surprised.
Instead, I got angry.