“I don’t have to like it,” he grumbled.
I got up and hugged him again, this time from the front. “Then let’s enjoy it while it lasts.”
We kissed, and there was a deep understanding in the way our lips touched. Both of us were emotionally in sync, going through the same thing at the same time.
The moment ended as Taylor carried the baby over to us and began explaining to him in a lecturing tone. “This isfire. It’s really bad. Our job is to fight it. But it’s also good sometimes, like when it’s turning raw meat into yummy steak.” He paused to reflect on that. “Huh. I guess a lot of things in life are like that. Good or bad, depending on the context.”
“I think he’s a little young for philosophy,” Derek said.
We laughed and joked and then sat down to dinner. More than ever, it felt like the four of us—plus Anthony—were playing house. Like one big, happy family. What we had wasn’t normal. In fact, it was very muchabnormal. But for some reason, it felt right.
And that was good enough for now, I decided.
The next day, we packed our things and prepared to return to the fire station. It was starting to feel like a normal routine, as commonplace as a daily commute to work. There was comfort in that as I packed my little suitcase and put a fresh diaper on the baby. And if that comfort was overshadowed by the knowledge that it would only last another two weeks? Well, I could ignore that for now. Because for now, I was happy.
That happiness ended when we got to the station.
32
Derek
I had an interesting conversation with my sister on the drive up to Sacramento yesterday.
“I’ll tell you straight: it’s kind of messed up,” she had said bluntly.
I glanced over at her in the passenger seat. “Tell me how you really feel, why don’t you?”
She held out her hands. “Don’t bite my head off. I’m just giving you my honest opinion. That’s what you asked for.”
“Sorry,” I made myself say, because she was right.
“It’s kind of messed up,” she continued, “but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.”
“How do you figure?”
She shrugged. “I work in Social Services. I’ve seen every kind of family unit on the planet. Traditional couples, gay and lesbian couples, single parents of all types. And you know what I’ve learned? Everyone is messed up. Those so-callednormalfamilies are often the most dysfunctional, once you get beneath the outer layer where everyone pretends like they’re doing great.”
“Okay,” I said, not really understanding her point.
“So for you to mention a polyamorous situation, where you’re sharing a woman with your two colleagues?” She shrugged again. It was something she did a lot. “It’s kind of messed up, butallrelationships are kind of messed up. If you can make it work, then hey, more power to you.”
I frowned while driving along. “Wait a minute. So you’re giving your blessing?”
She laughed. “I may be your older sister, but there’s no blessing to give. If you’re happy, then great! That’s the lesson I’ve learned in all this: do whatever makes you happy. Within reason, of course. I’m not telling you to start shooting up heroin.”
I had always come to my sister for advice, ever since we were little kids. Usually, I didn’t like what she had to say. She was blunt, and rarely told me what I wanted to hear. I had expected her to say that my weird relationship with Clara and Jordan and Taylor was insane, and that I should end it before things went too far.
“Does she want the same things you do?” she asked me.
“You mean kids?”
“Of course I mean kids. That seems like an important thing to figure out up front.” Her laugh held all the bitterness that I felt about my first marriage, and the contentious way it had ended.
“I don’t know what she wants,” I admitted.
Now she gave me a sharp look. “Then you sure as hell need to find out.”
“She’s great with the baby.”