“Oh. Right. Clara…”
“It’s fine,” I quickly said. My voice was strangely wooden, like I was hearing it through a door. “I knew this was how it would go. It was always just temporary.”
There was a long pause on the line. “It’s normal to get attached. Whatever emotions you’re feeling right now are fine, and—”
“I said I’m fine,” I repeated, more forcefully this time. The lump in my throat began to recede. But the damage was done. It felt like I had been stabbed, and all the happiness I had accumulated was slowly leaking out.
Maybe Baby Anthony wasn’t a sign,I thought.Maybe him sharing a name with my late father was just a coincidence.
“Anyways, thanks for the spreadsheet,” I said to my brother. “If there’s nothing else…?”
“Wait, Maurice wants to talk to you.” There was a scraping noise as he handed the phone over to his husband. Maurice’s higher-pitched voice came through. “Clara. Hows your situation? And I do not mean the baby. You can’t tell, but I’m winking at you right now.”
“If you’re referring to everything with the firemen, things are good,” I replied. “Reallygood.”
“I don’t want broad strokes. I want details!”
I cocked my head to listen. The guys had run out to get breakfast, and everything in the house was silent. Even still, I gave Maurice a measured response. “I’m getting along very well with all three of them.”
“I said details! Have you had a threesome yet? Two of them at the same time?”
I sucked in my breath in surprise. “I can’t tell you that! You’re, like, my brother!”
“Jason is your brother,” Maurice said dryly. “I’m the cool brother-in-law who you can tell every juicy detail to. In fact, you’re obligated to. I’m pretty sure it’s written on my marriage license.”
“I don’t think that’s how marriage licenses work.”
“Well, tell me anyway, because it’s Sunday and I’m bored.”
I glanced down at Baby Anthony in his bassinet, and he gazed up at me with curiosity. It felt wrong to discuss these kinds of things in front of him. Then again, last night we haddoneit while he was in the same room. So I guess talking about it wasn’t weird.
“I had a threesome last night with Jordan and Taylor,” I whispered. But Maurice missed most of what I said, because as soon as he heard the wordthreesomehe started squealing with excitement.
“I knew it! I knew you were having way more fun than you were letting on! Keep talking. Tell me more things about this.”
Behind him on the line, I heard my brother asking something. Maurice shooed him away.
“I’m not telling you anything while my brother is in the room with you!” I protested.
“It’s fine. I’m walking outside. The mosquitoes are bad, but this is worth hearing about this. Okay, I’m alone now. Tell me all about it!”
“I’m not giving you any more details than that,” I said with a laugh. Just discussing last night’s activities gave me an excited tingle in my gut. “But I will tell you that it was enjoyable by all parties involved.”
“Oh em gee. You’re the luckiest slut in the world!”
“Maurice!”
“Don’t get your newly-desirable panties in a bunch. I mean it in an endearing way. I would kill to be in your position.”
I heard my brother in the background: “What position?”
“Oh nothing, dear. I’m just kidding around with your sister.”Maurice lowered his voice to talk to me again. “I’m not kidding. I’m so jealous. Get it, girl!”
I spent the rest of the morning thinking about the conversation with Maurice, and how it affected my own reaction to last night’s event. Threesomes weren’t something that happenednormally. They were the kind of sizzling affair that only happened in college, or with weird couples who wanted to liven things up in the bedroom after exhausting all other options. Under such an assumption, I had felt vaguely embarrassed about last night, even though I had thoroughly enjoyed it.
But talking to Maurice, and speaking about the event out loud, was strangely liberating. He was excited for me. He wasjealous. That kind of reaction took away the stigma from the event and made it acceptablein a normal kind of way.
Jordan, Taylor, and I had a threesome. It was great. And there was nothing wrong with that, no matter what anyone else thought.