In the end, she slipped her hand into Laban’s and allowed him to lead her to the bed. The chain dragging behind them.
He sat at the edge and attempted to pull her onto his lap. Blythe resisted and eased beside him. Things were...complicated. No need to complicate them further by encouraging one male over the other.
“Explain what happened while I get you free of this,” she said. She pulled and clawed at the metal collar locked around his neck. No hinges. No give. Tears burned her eyes. Give up? No! There had to be a way; she had only to find it.
“Don’t worry about the collar, love.” He clasped her wrists, forcing her to stop. “What I have to tell you...just know that I’m sorry. So very sorry.” Guilt and shame filled his eyes once again.
“What is it?” Her stomach churned. “Tell me!”
He breathed deep, as if bracing for a blow. “More than a decade ago, Erebus came to me. He told me he could make me a phantom and remain unbound to him.”
“He. Did. What?” Fury burned through her. “And you accepted?”
“No!” His irises blazed with menace. “But he did it, anyway.”
Yes, that sounded like Erebus. She pressed her tongue to the roof of her mouth.Grandpa Bus has much more to answer for than I realized.“Why didn’t you tell me before this?”
“Admit to my strength-loving female that I was too weak to defend myself against her father?” He gave a clipped shake of his head. “No.”
His words sank in, and she blinked. “You kept quiet about this, ensuring I grieved your loss? Do you know how selfish that is?” Her fury blazed hotter. And hotter. To become a true phantom, one must die first. Without knowing it, Roux had delivered the death blow that had turned the manticore into a phantom.
All the grief on Blythe’s part had been for nothing. Isla’s anguished tears—for nothing. Roux’s guilt—for nothing. The once terrible chasm between them, born of her pain, could have been avoided.
Claws extended from her nail beds. Would she have done anything differently if she’d known the truth? Yes. But which things? Could she regret, even for a moment, the time spent with Roux? Witnessing his wonder as he experienced his first taste of pleasure. Teasing him from his stoic masks. Hearing him cheer as she battled on. But even still...
“If I could go back...” A ragged noise slipped from Laban. “But I can’t.”
“No, you can’t. And neither can I.” Laban’s pride had caused this, plain and simple. Yes, Erebus carried blame. A lot of blame. But her former consort carried so much more. He’d been a partner. An ally. Yet he’d betrayed her trust in the worst way.
“We can move forward.” Maintaining his hold on her, he said, “We can move forward stronger than ever, love. I know we can.”
Could they? After a betrayal of this magnitude?
Did she want to? She could have spent the past two months helping him adjust to becoming a phantom. Searching for him. Focusing her rage on her true enemy—her father. Instead, she’d blamed an innocent man. A treasured consort.
She licked suddenly dry lips. “You don’t understand, Laban. Some things have happened.”
“I don’t care. Nothing has to change what’s between us.” He adjusted his grip and squeezed her hand. “I’m different, yes. But my love for you hasn’t dwindled in the slightest.”
He still didn’t understand. Heartache doused her anger. He’d hurt her with his actions, yes, but she had no desire to hurt him back. And she was soon todestroyhim. Guilt flooded her, and she bowed her head.
“I want to be with you,” he stated. “We can return to our life. Raise our daughter. Together. Think of her joy when she sees me.”
Pressure joined Blythe’s guilt, the two nearly flattening her lungs. He didn’t know she’d slept with Roux. Or that the Astra was her consort, a fact that hadn’t changed simply because of Laban’s return. And the manticore definitely didn’t know she might not want things to go back to the way they were pre-invasion.
During the final battle of the tournament, when Penelope had begun to drain her, Blythe had chanced a glance up at Roux, perched beside her daughter, on high alert for any perceived threat to the girl’s life. She’d thought,My family. In that moment, she’d let go of the past in favor of grabbing hold of her future. Nothing had ever felt so right. Nothing.
“Laban. I must tell you something, and you must hear me. All right?”
He ran his tongue over his teeth. “If you intend to explain the Astra’s blessing task, don’t. There’s no need. Erebus told me Roux is set to take your heart with trinite, ending your life. But I don’t want you to worry over what’s to come, love. I’ll kill him before he has a chance to try. You’ll be safe with me. I swear it.”
The guilt delivered a series of punches, stealing her breath. Her first consort intended to protect her even though she’d betrayed him. But, at the same time, protective instincts surged. “You won’t kill him. Or harm him. Or even go after him.” She didn’t mean to snap the words, but she definitely snapped. “He’s a good male.”
“Good?” Stiffening, he leaped to his feet and spun to face her. “You dare to defend the one who murdered me?”
“He’s never lied to me!” she shouted as an avalanche of emotions tumbled through her. Anger. Frustration. Confusion. More guilt, now tinged with sorrow. More fury, too. They fed off each other, magnifying. Deep breath in, out. “A lot has happened since you died. What I’m trying to tell you is... Roux... He is... We...”
Laban’s nostrils flared. “No. Don’t say it. After everything I’ve been through.”