“Yeah,” she laughed. “I’ve been dancing with the girls. It’s nice, you know? Ignoring everything else for a while?”
“Yep.” I agreed. All of us needed a night when we could forget the last week. I was pretty sure it wasn’t going to happen for me tonight, but I’d had a few hours earlier in the day when everything outside my room had disappeared.
“I swear,” my mom said. “Some of the shit Hawk does isn’t normal.”
“Half the shit Hawk does isn’t normal,” I said with a chuckle.
“She was bent in half and shaking her ass. I thought Tommy was going to come unglued.”
“Sounds about right.”
“I’ll see you later,” Mom said, glancing behind her. She stole my beer off the bar top and walked away before I even realized what was happening.
“The fuck?” I said in amusement, watching her go.
“Beer!” a voice called from behind me. It was one I recognized, but hadn’t heard in years.
“Ceecee Butler,” I said, turning around. “How you been?”
“Good,” she replied with a huge smile and a nod. Looking at her face, I knew she was telling the truth. Gone was the spoiled girl who felt like the world was out to get her, and in her place was a woman that seemed genuinely happy.
“Glad to hear that,” I said with a grin.
“How about you?” she said. “I was sorry to hear about Ashley.”
“Thanks.” I nodded to the prospect that handed me a new beer. “Tryin’ to figure out where I go from here.”
“With Lily,” she said nonchalantly, turning to lean her back against the bar.
“Say again?”
“You’re with Lily, right?”
Immediately, my hackles rose. Five minutes of normal interaction didn’t erase years of manipulation, and I wasn’t quite sure what she was getting at. “Your sister’s livin’ in Connecticut,” I replied.
“Yeah,” she grinned. “My dad must’ve lost his shit when she agreed to go there.”
“He was pretty proud.”
“I don’t doubt it. I was surprised when she left. I didn’t think she’d ever leave Eugene.”
“Why’s that?” I asked, taking a sip of my beer.
“Because she loves it here. She loves the rain and the trees and hanging out with family. It just never seemed like she’d be happy so far away.”
“She seems to be doin’ alright,” I muttered. I was over the conversation already, and regretting the fact that I’d even said hello.
“You think so?” she mused. “I think she’s probably counting the days until she’s home for good.”
“Doubt it,” I argued.
“Nah, she’s not like me,” Cecilia said.
“You think?” I shot back.
“I guess I deserved that,” Cecilia replied ruefully. “I used to be so jealous of her.”
“That’s fucked.”
“Oh, I know.” She laughed uncomfortably. “It just seemed like everything came easy for her.”
“She was blind,” I said flatly.
“You loved her,” she said calmly.
I opened my mouth to tell her to fuck off, but before I could say a word, she shook her head.
“I know it wasn’t like that,” she said, raising her hands in surrender. “You’ve never been a creep. But, you did care about her. I wanted that type of devotion, you know?”
“To get it, you gotta give it,” I murmured, glancing sideways at her.
“Yeah,” Cecilia said softly. “I’m learning that.”
“Daughter, you’re slacking,” Farrah yelled, walking our way. “I told your dad he could have one beer, and you’re over here drinking it while he’s over there bitching.”
“Casper’s here?” I asked in surprise.
“Yeah, the pain in my ass wouldn’t stay home. He’s over there on one of the couches, holding court and wishing he was home in bed—not that he’d ever admit it.”
Farrah grabbed a couple more drinks and then towed Cecilia across the room, leaving me mostly alone at the bar. There weren’t as many people at the party as there usually were, so I could see pretty much everyone around the room. I spotted the boys at the pool tables, so I headed that way. Hopefully if I was surrounded by people, I could pretend like I was having a good time, when in reality, I was wishing I was at my apartment with my boy, watching car shows on cable.
* * *
A few beers later, I was feeling good. I’d gotten just enough of a buzz to relax into my surroundings, but not enough of one to make anything fuzzy. I’d been playing pool with the boys for hours, taking turns and watching the women make bets on their men. Hawk had already lost at least a hundred dollars because Tommy was on the far side of drunk, but I had no idea who was actually winning. As the games had gone on, the bets got smaller and smaller as the women realized that all of the guys were pretty evenly matched and there was no way to guess who would win.
Rose had started betting on me, which I appreciated, until she whispered that she was betting with my money.